Regain the story of your dreams

Not all life stories have a happy ending, but it is really important that we do what we suffer after suffering severe losses and great disappointment. Three British writers shared their stories of regaining their dreams.

1. Novelist Nicholas Gerard: How to find a sense of fullness in the empty nest?

A few years ago, I found myself doing nothing and I was very upset. When I drove, I suddenly stopped at the side of the road, tears falling. At night, I suddenly woke up, feeling very scared and dry. I know why I am sad: the children moved out one by one. In 6 years, 4 children have gone out. The house was originally full, a bit messy, a bit noisy, and then it was empty, quiet, and the sound of the hangers swaying in the closet was very clear. When I got home, when I looked up, I saw that the window was bright. Now I look up and see that the window is black. But I don't understand why my sadness is so strong. Children should leave home to live independently, and I also keep in close contact with them. I put them in my heart and I am proud of their adulthood.

I have not been to work for more than 20 years, and I am turning around the children all day. After they left me to live independently, I felt like a scaffolding without a house behind me. I felt very empty and didn't know what it meant to be. The children’s childhood is no longer, and part of my life is gone. I think that many women have experienced the loss of empty nests, from enrichment to emptiness, from purpose to purposelessness, and the tide, they feel that they are left on a bubble-filled beach.

To overcome the loss and sadness brought by the empty nest, I feel that I can't just wait for it to pass naturally. You have to use the harvest instead of losing step by step to do what you want to do. Slowly, your heart will be strong again, and you will be filled with dreams again. My family and my husband, Sean, left, and we went out for a walk and found each other's many advantages. I wrote a new novel, "Dawn Time," and I took this new book to tell myself that life is a journey. Even if the children leave, we can't stop and move on.

2. "The Huffington Post" founder Arianna Huffington: How to find gratitude after suffering huge losses?

It is important to remind us of the blessings we receive in life, but it is also important to be grateful for what has not happened. All the disasters that passed by, all that happened but did not happen, deserve our gratitude.

However, there are indeed some disasters that have caused us pain. For me, losing the first child is a disaster. At that time, I was 36 years old. After I lost my child, I had a nightmare every day. It was as long as a week, and a week was as long as a month. Women know that when pregnant, the baby is not only in the womb, but also in our dreams, in our souls, in each of our cells. In my heart, everything is broken. In the many sleepless nights that followed, I opened my eyes and lay on the bed, thinking about why my child had no life in the abdomen.

The ancient Greek philosopher Aeschylus once described the uncomfortable moment: "Even when we sleep, the pain does not forget to drop on our hearts bit by bit, increase our disappointment, weaken our will, but use God's grace makes us more intelligent." Before the loss of the baby, I also experienced other pains. Lost love, get sick, lose the person I love. But I never felt the pain of losing a baby. I learned this pain. We came to the world not to calculate how many victories and trophies, how much experience we have gained, how many failures have been avoided, but to be polished until we are left. This is the only way we can find the true purpose of suffering and loss. It is the only way we can begin to repair a broken dream. It is the only way we can return to gratitude and grace.

3. Children's poetry poet laureate Mallory Blackman: When a door is closed, there will be a window open.

When I was seven or eight years old, I knew what I would be when I grew up, being an English teacher. The love of books, stories and reading made me believe that teaching is not only a legitimate profession, but also my only career choice. Just like the evening after the day, I feel that I must be an English teacher and I can't change it. When I was a teenager, I read Shakespeare's works as a pastime. I read contemporary novels, reading classics, myths, legends, and science fiction.

However, after talking with the professional instructor, I felt that the future I held was flowing away from my fingers like water, leaving me with empty hands and heavy feelings. The career instructor told me that black people are generally not teachers. She said, "Why are you not a secretary?" As a result, I chose a computer major. I started as a file manager and then became a junior programmer and system programmer. The project manager finally became the database manager. I often go abroad, the company gives me a car, I have private health insurance, I have a deposit in the bank. However, I still have not forgotten the hobby of writing and reading. I think, maybe, I can write a book from myself. After writing eight or nine books, after receiving 82 rejection letters, finally publishers said that they could publish my novels. Twenty years have passed, I have not become an English teacher, but I am the author of 60 books and has become a popular writer for many children and young readers.

Why didn't I give up after I received the rejection letter? Because my career instructor taught me something important. She taught me that if I want something, I should work hard for it, and I should not let anyone block my way forward. She told me that the broken heart has the ability to heal itself and will become more tolerant. She taught me never to give up. I thanked her, maybe she closed the door of my ambition, but opened a window to replace it. This open window changed my life and made it better, which I never imagined before.