Control 90% of life

American social psychologist Festinger has a famous rule, "Festinger's Law": 10% of life is made up of things happening to you, and the other 90% is by yours. How the events happen are determined by the reaction. In other words, 10% of things in life are beyond our control, while the other 90% are beyond our control.

Festinger gave an example in the book. When Castin got up in the morning and washed it, he placed his high-end watch on the sink. His wife was afraid that it would be wet by the water, and he took it to the table. When the son got up and took the bread at the table, he accidentally touched the watch to the ground and broke it. Kasi Ding love watches, did as his son's ass beating. Then he blackened his face and married his wife. The wife is not convinced, saying that she is afraid of water to wet the watch. Castin said his watch is waterproof. So the two violently whipped up their mouths. At the same time, the breakfast of Castin didn't eat. He drove directly to the company. When he arrived at the company, he suddenly remembered to forget to take the briefcase and immediately turned home. But no one at home, his wife went to work, the son went to school, and the key to Castin remained in the briefcase. He couldn't enter the door and had to call his wife to ask for the key. When the wife rushed home and rushed home, she knocked over the roadside fruit stand. The stall owner pulled her away from her and asked her to pay compensation. She had to pay a sum of money to get rid of it. After the door opened and got the briefcase, Castin had been late for 15 minutes, and the boss was severely criticized, and Castin’s mood was extremely bad. Before going to work, I had a quarrel with my colleague because of a small incident. The wife also deducted the full-time award for the month due to early departure. My son participated in the baseball game this day. It was expected to win the championship, but he was defeated because of his bad mood. The first game was eliminated.

In this case, the watch was broken 10%. The next series of things is another 90%. It was because the parties did not control the 90% well that it caused this day to become a "day of trouble." Imagine that after 10% of the production of Castin, if you change the reaction. For example, he comforted his son: "It doesn't matter, my son, the watch is broken and it's okay, I just take it for repair." So the son is happy, the wife is happy, and he is in a good mood, then everything will not happen. . It can be seen that you can't control the previous 10%, but you can decide the remaining 90% through your mindset and behavior.

In real life, I often hear people complain: How can I be so unlucky? There are always some things that are entangled in me every day. Why don’t you let me stop and have a good mood? Who can help me? This is a mentality issue. In fact, it is not others who can help themselves, but themselves. If you understand and be proficient in using the "Festinger's Law", all problems will be solved.