Secretarial knowledge > negotiation skills

Twenty tips in the negotiations (16)

Intimidation: How to use the weakness of human nature to control others. Everyone knows that "to die, to starve and to be timid." But most people can't stand the fear and overcome the coziness. This is the psychological basis for intimidation to work. Intimidation is often used to establish a psychological advantage for yourself at the beginning of the contest. In addition, it can also be used to scare the snake and lead the opponent's weakness. To scare people must find ways to be more courageous than ordinary people, more aggressive than their opponents. In the case of confrontation, there are several ways to make people more likely to produce courage: 1 to find out the reasons for contempt for the opponent; 2 to speak loudly, to create momentum; 3 to use the eyes as a sword to force the opponent; 4 body to show the winning posture; 5 The backlight stands. There are several common tactics in intimidation: I must use the law to press the "Shangfang Sword", which is an important method different from the past in the contemporary legal society. Second, in the support, compliment, the word "terror" often works, and sometimes it is not. Third, preemptive strikes, first wins people, first to be strong, and strive to create opportunities to win. Fourth, with a dull, low-key to make themselves more determined. This is a more familiar method. 5. With no words, no words, no silence, no ignorance to the opponent. This is the best intimidation. In addition, it should be emphasized that intimidation is a technology that is difficult to control. I don’t know if the depth of the opponent is easy to be self-defeating, so the risk is great. 1. Long-term timidity, the era of the era when the opponent's prestige is in the Eastern Han Dynasty is the descendant of Zhao Guoming's famous Lian Po, who once worked as a cloud guard. At that time, the Xiongnu was invaded by a large scale, and the bonfire of the police continued every day. According to the old case, if an enemy commits more than 5,000 people, he can send a letter to the neighboring county. The bureaucrats of Lian Fan want to spread the text and ask for assistance. Lian Fan did not agree, but personally led the only few troops to the border to resist the Huns cavalry. The Huns were more prosperous, and the strength of the Lianfan was better than that of the Xiongnu. It happened to be a sunset in the west. The inferior commanders each of the soldiers to cross the two torches together, igniting three of them, and holding the other in their hands, scattered in the camps and camps. Lined up around, suddenly the fire is like a starry sky, very spectacular. The Xiongnu army saw the expansion of the Han army camp from afar, and there were many fires. It was thought that many reinforcements had come and they were greatly alarmed. Lian Fan said to the ministry: "Now our strategy is to use the fire to attack the Huns in the dark, so that they don't know how many people we have, so they will be scared and we can annihilate them all. When the enemy was about to retreat in the early morning, Lian Fan ordered the troops to get up early to eat, and then went straight to the Xiongnu camp, which was catching up with the wind. Lian Fan ordered more than a dozen people to ambush behind the Xiongnu barracks with the drums. They agreed with them that when they saw the fire burning, they would call while drumming. Everyone else armed with weapons and bows and ambushes on both sides of the enemy's gates. Lian Fan then set fire to the wind, and the ambushing drums screamed and screamed. The Xiongnu army fell into disarray, made a mess, and trampled on it in a panic, killing thousands. The Han army also stalked and killed hundreds of new enemies and achieved major victories. Since then, the Huns have never dared to invade the clouds. One of the premise of intimidation is that the imposing manner must be pretending to be decent. Only the other party has a good intention to hold the other side. A timid, inferior person can't use intimidation, and it can hurt himself if he doesn't. It is a contest of courage and a struggle of will to say that it is a small refill and a weak reinforcement. Here are some courageous ways to avoid intimidation or dare to intimidate each other at critical moments: 1 In the case of timidity or low self-esteem, it is a way to find out the weakness of your opponent and first to knock down your opponent in your heart. When you feel the threat of the other party, you can find out where the other person is ridiculous. When you think about his ridiculousness, the pressure and timidity will all disappear. If you can't pick out your opponent's problems within the limits of your ability, imagine his humbleness on other occasions, which will also pull the opponent down from the throne of authority or power. For example, the chairman of the branch who wants to go to the board of directors of the head office may be just a small role in the seat; when he returns home, he may be a Mr. Fear inside who can't take his head in front of his wife; in entertainment, It may be just a father who is bullied by a child without the power to fight back. If you only see the advantages of your opponent, you can easily believe in your opponent and create an uncomfortable awareness. Just think of the other person as we are, but just one person, imagine another humble and fault, you will not be timid or inferior. It is. 2 Speak as loudly as possible, arm your own mind, and create an overwhelming momentum. The grand and loud voice can give the opponent a confident impression, and they can also use this to generate strong confidence, and then get unexpected results. In the debate or quarrel, some people will involuntarily improve their own noise, in order to cover their opponents. This is the instinctual use of "sounding voice can enhance confidence." When the two sides confront each other on the ancient battlefield in China, they will set off the drums. The higher the voice, the stronger the morale and the stronger the soldiers' morale. When the Lu country and the Qi State fought, they first let Qi Qi drums. At the beginning, the drums were shocking and the Qi army was very morale. Lu Jun did not move. Gradually, the Qijun drums became smaller and smaller, and the morale gradually disappeared. At this time, the various troops slammed the drums and drums, and they defeated Qi. When the little boy walked through the cemetery at night, he whistle happily and loudly, but also for his courage. Usually he overcame the fear of walking through the cemetery because he "bloated" his courage. Your voice is your lifeless weapon. As long as you show courage, your courage will come. If you show bravery, you will have the courage to come back. 3 Use your eyes to stare at each other's eye and other body parts, giving each other a sense of oppression. For example, when a pair of people in love is in conflict, in order to prove that their opinions are correct and the words can no longer be effective, the wise people will use their eyes to focus on his hands or eyes, and let their anger and requirements pass through. The kind of gaze is transmitted to the other party. "At this time, there is no sound and no sound." This can give the other party a psychological sense of oppression, and can avoid the psychological state of the two sides not calm and impulsive when the language conflicts. In fact, in any competition, this "one point breakthrough" tactic is quite effective. The so-called "a little breakthrough" is to gather all the forces and violently attack toward the weakest part of the opponent. For example, in a conversation, your eyes may look directly at a part of the other's body. This will not only be threatened by the oppressive feelings created by the other party, but also cause the other party to shift their attention to the part that is being stared. In other words, your line of sight not only makes the other person's attitude unbalanced, but also distracts the other's consciousness. In addition, you can also create a situation that forces the other person to panic, thereby receiving the effect of the situational transformation. 4 In the process of waiting, the body should set the posture and shock the opponent. When the two sides confront each other, the physical movement of the person is also a weapon to enhance confidence. The essay "Sparrow" written by Gattif in the country's masterpiece wrote such a small thing: Then, a small sparrow fell from the tree and couldn't fly. The hound saw it and ran over. At this time, an old sparrow flew down from the tree, blocked the small sparrow, and opened the whole body of feathers towards the hound, staring at the hound in disgust, the hound actually stayed. The sparrow is actually instinctively using its own feathers, movements, eyes and all natural weapons to demonstrate to the hounds and expel their fears. In sports competitions, athletes sometimes consciously stand tall and confident in order to enhance their confidence in defeating their opponents. In the negotiations, this can also have the effect of shocking the opponent. 5 occupying the backlight position, can produce a deterrent effect. Standing in the position of anti-light, not only can give the other person a dazzling physical effect, but also can produce various psychological effects. First of all, the image standing on the scene is just like photography, so that the other party can't recognize his expression. On the contrary, the image of the other party is illuminated by the sun in every corner, thus exposing every part of the body. With this alone, the enemy will be feared. What's more, the image after the light can also be integrated with light. Make the other party have a bigger impression on themselves than the real thing, because of this state of backlighting, you can make yourself mentally overwhelm each other. As long as you consider this principle, don't stand on the dark shade that doesn't feel the light, even if you don't stand in the position of receiving light. In this way, when the opponent seems to be more powerful, the effect of light can be used to psychologically defeat the opponent and ensure superior status. 2. There is no fear in the middle of the game. Li Zongwu, who is a master of "thick black", has a good understanding of the relationship between holding and fear. When he talked about the old officialdom, he said: "The meaning of intimidation is transitive verb. The reason of this word is very profound. I may wish to say a few more words. How valuable is this kind of thing, can it be easily given to people? Someone has made the choice of words to be 120,000 points, and it still cannot take effect. This is the lack of terrorism. Those who are in power The big man has a soft spot. As long as he finds his key points, he will be shocked when he clicks it. He will immediately send the official. The scholars need to know that the fear word and the word are combined with each other. There is fear in the holdings. The onlookers look at what he said in front of his boss. The sentence is A-Hui, and he is actually hitting the key in secret. The boss listens and sweats. The good-hearted, fearful The onlookers look at his arrogance and blame the boss. In fact, the people who listen are full of joy and the bones are soft. This is the so-called 'heart-to-heart meeting, lies in everyone', 'the brilliant carpenter can teach people to do according to the rules, But can't tell you the skill'. This requires an official Careful understanding, the most important thing is to use the fear word, there must be a sense of proportion, if the use of excessive, the big officials are angry and angry, do the right, do not contradict the purpose of seeking the official? This is why? When you are not helpless, the fear word can't be used easily." Blindly complimenting and holding up will be bullied, and it is the same in daily life. For example, when men are entangled in women, there is always more or less concern. If he is the factory manager, he naturally fears that the matter will be exposed and will affect his reputation. The problem is that the man is emotionally impulsive at the moment, leaving the consequences of the situation long ago. Therefore, the wise woman must now express this consequence to the other party and give him a threat, which will prompt him to withdraw his original intention. A woman whose husband is a seafarer has been wandering for a long time, and she is alone and lonely to spend her days. It’s better to go to work during the day, and I’m restless at night. In order to kill time, she applied for the night. The first time I went to class, I found a classmate in my husband’s middle school sitting in the classroom. This classmate gets along well with her husband, so he is naturally close to him. I didn't expect the classmate to secretly play her idea. The woman perceives the bad motivation of this classmate. She said to him very seriously: "As the saying goes, 'Friend's wife can't be bullied.' You are my husband's friend. He is usually so good to you. If I tell my husband, I don't know what he will do to you?" When the classmates heard it, they were shocked: "You can...but don't do this!" The history of "the right to release the wine" is a typical success of the first choice. After Zhao Yong grabbed the position in the hands of the latter week, he led his men to fight in the north, basically unifying the Central Plains. After the demise of the Southern Tang Dynasty, Jiangshan unified, the world was peaceful, and gradually felt that those brothers who used to bleed and squander in wartime were useless. They not only share the riches and wealth with themselves, but also hold the military powers one by one. If there is any suspicion that their official position is not sick, it will be difficult to clean up. But to start with the brothers, I am afraid that the world is angry. And each of his brothers has a large number of cronies. If you start with the brothers and provoke their rebellion, their throne is also unstable. How to do it? Thinking about it, he thought of wine. Cover your face with wine and let the brethren surrender their military power. If everyone does, the matter will be solved. If someone is against it, they will cover it with drunken words. The next day, he summoned the brothers who held the military power, talked and laughed, drank and sipped, and drank straight into the red sun, and all eyes brightened. Zhao Wei looked almost, so he talked about the past, and finally sighed and said: "If you live forever in those days, how good it is! Kill in the daytime, sleep at night, and look like it is now, sleep at night and sleep. Listen, care and ask: "How can I sleep?" "Zhao Wei said:" This is not clear, we are brothers, who should sit in this seat, and who would not want to sit? "Everyone looked at each other and felt that the situation was serious. I thought of Liu Bang’s history and killing the hero’s historical history. I was scared and stunned. I said on the ground: "Don’t dare." Zhao Wei saw the expected effect, and followed suit, saying: "You Although I dare not, it is difficult to protect the people who do not think so. Once Huang is imposed on you, you are not allowed to. "Everyone listened and understood that Zhao Wei was already skeptical. I was so scared that I didn't dare to get up on the ground; I wanted Zhao to think of a way. Zhao Wei said: "Life is too short, everyone has been suffering with me for half a lifetime, it is better to get more money, back It’s so happy to have a peaceful life. “Everyone nodded and said: “Follow it.” The next day, the heroes of the old ones asked for help to return home, hand over the military power, received a batch of money, and went home to live a rich life. Just choose not to let The other party consciously has no fear, and does not promise to see him high and unhappy, and the initiative is in the hands of the other party; while holding the fear, the initiative is in our hands, the word is only used as a step, so that the other party does not lose face, in fact, he is right or wrong. Obedience can't be done. 3. First, the first time, Chen Dong, a Chinese businessman in Los Angeles, bought a batch of cloisonne in Hong Kong Prosperity Group, saying that half of the cash was paid and half of the one-month ticket was paid. On the day of the transaction, Chen Dong However, he did not come forward and sent his son Chen Xiaodong. One month later, the promissory note expired, but the bank retired the ticket. After several contacts, Chen Dongyi pushed and pushed again. Later, he simply refused to answer the phone. The prosperity group knew that it was on the trap. Group boss Chen Yushu said: "Unless he always shrinks in the United States and does not do business in Hong Kong, as long as he comes to Hong Kong, I will pass him the money. Chen Yushu spread his eyeliner. Finally, one day, Chen Dong came to Hong Kong. Chen Yushu immediately sent someone to contact him, and he was invited by the discount price of bird and beast cloisonne, and Chen Dong was invited to the company. Chen Yushu had a big foot and the door was wide open. Drink a loud voice: "Chen Dong, you are fooled! Chen Dong’s face changed a lot at this time, as if Wu Niu was breathing, but he was standing opposite. “If you are here, let me dispose of you. Chen Yushu reached out and asked him: "What about my money?" "I didn't owe you money, it was my son's owe." "Not that you promised on the phone, how can I get your son to pick up the goods?" "The son is in debt and wants Laozi to pay back the money. This is not in accordance with US law!" "Here is Hong Kong!" If you want to be able to get out of this door today, I will not surname Chen! "We are reasonable people. We always have a way to deal with unreasonable people." Do you know who I am? "Don't wait for the other party to answer, Chen Yushu said loudly: "I was a rogue in Indonesia since I was a child! As the saying goes: "Soft is afraid of hard, hard is afraid of horizontal, horizontal is afraid of life." At this time, Chen Dong was cold and sweaty, and he touched his chest with his hands. He was busy with drugs. It seemed that the heart was a bit wrong. Chen Yushu said to Chen Dong: "We are talking about humanitarianism. What I want today is that you pay back the money. Otherwise, Don't think about getting out of this door. Chen Dong knew that the repudiation was useless, and the tricks could not be applied. He had to call a jeweler and asked him to open a check. It was estimated that he had saved money there. Chen Yushu preemptively took the psychological advantage when he was intimidated. In the confrontation, I got the first opportunity, so I won the game smoothly. The saying goes: "Below the first hand is strong", this is the reason. Many people have heard that they want to fight against strong enemies, and the inner city will be panicked, or they will want to flee when they meet. In fact, this approach is tantamount to self-successful failure. If you can preemptively, you can alleviate this psychological oppression. The former world heavyweight champion Muhammad. Ali, write a hymn for himself before each game, and swear to be sure Knocking down the opponent and then playing again. This won him the title of "Braking King", in fact, this is the mental strategy of Arit. By announcing his own goal, he will give the other person psychologically before the game. A blow makes you gain an advantage. In interpersonal communication, although it is not a knife and a gun, there is a problem of who has a psychological advantage. The first thing to do is to declare the minimum goal to suppress the other party. For those who meet for the first time, if they can give a pre-emptive blow, they can psychologically overwhelm each other. For example, the lowest goal of the meeting is announced at the beginning. If you say, "You just need to remember my name today," or say: "Give me five minutes anyway," then the other person will often accept your suggestion and feel that you at least remember you. The name or the obligation to give you a five-minute speech opportunity, so that the future topics will develop in a direction that is beneficial to you. 2 In the debate, you can take the lead in raising the problem first. In the slap in the face, you should not wait for the opponent to ask questions. You go to the mechanical passive response. First, ask each other and force the other party to follow your thoughts. At least, psychologically, you will win the victory first. 3 Let the other party show courtesy first and you can deliberately ignore the etiquette. It is for people who have high or low social status to communicate smoothly. For example, from a courtesy point of view, The lower-ranking person should first greet the higher-ranking party. As for the meal, the higher-ranking person first moves the chopsticks, etc. It can be seen that the etiquette clearly reflects the sequence relationship between people. Therefore, if you take the action of the higher sequence, for example, let the other party squat first, you must first move the chopsticks when you eat, so you can take advantage. Sometimes, deliberately neglecting etiquette is also a very important psychological tactic. 4 Arrive at the agreed place ahead of the other party. When you arrive later than the agreed time, you will feel very embarrassed; if you find that the other party has not arrived, the mood will be comfortable, but also feel very calm, when you see the opponent, psychologically total There is a sense of superiority. 5 Do not take the initiative to apologize, so as not to be at a disadvantage. It is often said that when you encounter a car accident abroad, you must never say "I'm sorry." Because even if the responsibility Hu Ming is in the other party, the Europeans and Americans will think that they should apologize first. One party has a responsibility. Moreover, the party who first apologizes will definitely be at a disadvantage. Because the phrase "sorry" will determine the psychological order. In short, Once you succeed in the first place, you have a psychological advantage, and you may be panicked or frustrated with convenience. Intimidation can be done. Next, grasp the issue of the initiative. 4. The horror story should be whispered, "The eyes can talk like the mouth." This sentence refers not only to the content of the speech, but also to the tone of the speech. When you are excited, anyone's voice will rise, and if you are in a bad mood, your voice will be low. When the rogue threatens people, it deliberately pushes down the voice, so that the other person said: "In this case, I am still very calm." I often hear people say that people with loud voices prevail at the meeting, but they want to convince people. At the time, loud noises caused adverse effects. Because the more people yell, the more they feel that it is compulsive, even if they know that the other party makes sense, it is easy to raise feelings of resentment. Therefore, if you want to convince others, it is the best policy to whisper. The other party is also more likely to open the atrium. In addition, whispering, the other party will find out the body in order to be afraid of hearing the error. A gentleman has a small thing, but it is quite inspiring: a police officer who abused authority gave me a fine for parking for more than an hour. His attitude was not very decisive, so I went to him. He is standing at the crossroads. "Police officer," I whispered, "I am going to investigate the parking problem in this town. Do you know how far it is from here to the 'one hour parking' sign?" "I guess big and far away", he Answered and took the fine. Whispering is easy to convince because it shows the speaker's firm confidence and is not suspected of bluffing. When others insulted, Liu blushed and didn't look like a confident giant. If you think he wants to deceive you, you will give strong evidence behind. The more trouble you have, the less power you will show. Only the widower threatened and yelled. There are often such situations in communication: the loudest and the most fierce, often with a very scary pain point. If you choose the pain point as a breakthrough, you can defeat each other in one fell swoop. Let the tax staff receive a report to seal up a tax-stricken tobacco shop. When the tax officials asked about the situation, the boss loudly accused the tax staff of eavesdropping on the partiality, and yelled at him and slandered him. It seemed that the tax clerk had offended him and was counted by him. But the tax official learned from his extensive work experience that the more people there are, the more problematic they are. So I didn't confront him directly, but only plainly dropped a sentence: "You don't want to make a noise. In a few days, we will bring a few people to check and then make a conclusion." The smoker has made this statement more and more. Although the strong and happy face to send guests, but the guests have clearly seen the pain of their check. The tax official yelled at his erect friend who lived opposite the tobacco shop and secretly watched the movement of his house. In the evening, a commercial flatbed truck loaded more than 20 boxes of cigarettes for transfer, and the tax collectors who arrived in time were seized on the spot. If the tax collector and the chimney knife are paired with the knife and the gun, they will only fall into the group of the smoke merchants, and they will not be able to complete the task or the other party. In this confrontation, the tax officials used the intimidation of the drums and the people to stun the snakes, and the key to success was not to advertise when they were playing grass, but this one played a real scare. If you are too scared, the other party will not only be affected, but will think that you are scaring him and jealous of him, so he will psychologically have doubts and precautions against you.

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