Classic funny quotes

1. Don’t play for life now, I will play with you in the future.

2. A person’s death is a tragedy. The death of millions of people is just a statistic.

3. In the past, talking about friends was to ask others if they had friends. Now they have to ask if they are gay.

4. Not that you don't laugh, a smile will fall!

5. Teacher, you are the devil in my heart. The closer the poverty is to you, the farther away from the Buddha.

6. The real wandering and drifting is that you don't have a place to go back.

7. Life is like a vulgar French literary film. There is no climax, no eroticism, no subtitles.

8. True love is like a ghost. Everyone talks about it, but no one has ever seen it.

9. The farthest distance in the world is not the end of the earth, nor is it a life or death, but I am in my motherland, but I don’t know what is happening in my country.

10. Lonely is when someone is talking, no one is listening; when someone is listening, you have nothing to say!

11. Time is the best teacher, but unfortunately - in the end he killed all the students.

12. I like to build my own climax on her cockroaches.

13. The happiest thing in the world is to eat, and the second happy thing is to eat again later!

14. A wet, full of ages.

15. I saw an aunt burning paper and muttering while burning: I have never received a fund.

16. Anyone who is crazy in the canteen, the study room, and the teaching building will be unable to afford the room.

17. The more the number of clothes on the girl, the more they are exposed; the fewer the number of clothes, the less they are exposed!

18. A woman is like a Q, at least two hours a day, after a certain number of days, the sun can be

19. If the girl is given a safe environment, she can YD let you run a nose to death!

20. Because of you, there are big sea monsters in the sea area of ​​Qingdao.

21. I am so embarrassed to catch you, how are you still stealing?

22. Don’t talk to me about ideals, quit

23. The words of a man are like the teeth of an old lady. How many are true?

24. You gave me two choices, but it was an ending.

25. If you choose a lover, you have to choose one that you want to match. If you don’t match it, you have to choose one that you admire. If you can’t admire it, you have to choose a mating one.

26. The person you have promised me will only leave me with a brilliant expression, not a splendid life.

27. In addition to the incompetent man in the city, it is the incompetent man, except for the two, only the woman.

28. What is survival? Survival is living by unscrupulous means.

29. I can resist everything except temptation

30. Others say that I am born with inspirational!

31. Once upon a time, a child said that I would not sleep if I were killed. Then he was killed.

32. False words are always exposed, and wearing wigs will always be exposed by the wind.

33. People do good things and always want to let the ghosts know that doing bad things always thinks that ghosts don’t know, we are too difficult for God.

34. I am sorry, let you laugh.

35. "How wonderful it would be if your parents used the ten minutes for a walk.

36. Waiting for the aftershocks, like the lover of the first love girl, is afraid that he will not come, and he is afraid of chaos.

37. At the time, I was checking the information with my girlfriend. I suddenly pulled out a window. It was very yellow and very violent. We quickly turned off the lights.

38. Lei Feng did not leave a name for good things, but everything was recorded in the diary.

39. There are too many liars, and the fools are obviously not enough.

40. The most terrible two sentences in the world, one sentence is, "I love you so much, why don't you love me?" Another sentence is, "I am doing this for you."

41. I am sad, I show it to you with my most beautiful side. He looks at the distant scenery.

42. The physical education teacher in the middle school said: Whoever dares to wear a skirt on my class will punish her for standing upside down.

43. From heaven to hell, I passed by.

44. Chess painting and calligraphy will not, laundry is too tired to cook.

45. I love you and love a whole one.

46. ​​Your person is perfect, but not necessarily someone likes it.

47. Everything will be a good thing at the end. If not a good thing, that is not the last. Believe in this way.

48. Banknotes are not omnipotent and sometimes require a credit card.

49. If I can't beat you, I will turn your face with you.

50. In ancient times, we didn't call, didn't text, didn't chat, didn't tweeted, didn't cross the ocean, and didn't get stuck on the road. If I miss you, I will turn over two mountains and walk five miles to take your hand.

51. There is always someone in this life who always wants to go with you, but you really want to go with him.

52. Wrestling as a child, no matter how painful or painful, cry first and then say.

53. I just want someone to understand me, even if I don't say anything.

54. Actually. Who do you like me? I will give any expression.

55. The little girls dreamed of finding a white horse. They opened their eyes and found that the world is full of sorrows. After grief, they can only pick a strong body from the group. Named as: Economically applicable male.

56. I am going to cry, I am going to make trouble, I don’t sleep for one night, I have a bottle of sleeping pills in my hand, and I have to take a small rope to hang. Be ugly and fall in love, talking about the world full of love.

57. Our goal: to look at the money, to earn money.

58. For my Audi, your Dior, your child's Oreo. Work hard!

59. If you are good to me, I can't help but want to bully you.

60. I am the passerby who you forgot to turn around. Why do you accompany you to the end of the world?

61. During the onset of intermittent depression, do not disturb people, do not find acquaintances.

62. Saying that money is sin, all are fishing; saying that beauty is a disaster, wants to say; saying that the heights are not cold, are climbing; that tobacco and alcohol hurt the body, do not quit; say that heaven is the best, do not go!

63. The crowded bus is a comprehensive sport that includes a variety of sports and fitness programs including Sanda, Yoga, Judo and Balance Beam.

64. When the old lady opens her eyes, she knows that you are a enchanting one.

65. Hands in pockets, no one loves.

66. Use a kitchen knife to cut the wire and sparkle all the way.

67. It is not difficult to be single. It is difficult to deal with those who do everything possible to make you end single.

68. The male dress is called the shemale, and the female dress is the male?

69. I have a crystal heart, but they think it is glass.

70. Behind every successful Altman has a little monster that is silently beaten.

71. A good woman is like gasoline. Once you have it, you have the motivation: a bad woman is like a balloon, and once it is used, there is a crisis.

72. Good love is when you see the world through a man, bad love is when you abandon the world for one person.

73. People can't bring money into the grave, but money can bring people in.

74. With a cigarette, wandering the horizon

75. Our biggest rival, not a third party, but the years

76. I want to be your one tooth most. Because of this. At least when you don't have me. You will hurt.

77. It’s polite to smile at you.