For those who have fallen to the list

That year, I was eighteen years old. High school, black July.

It’s falling, and the rainy season is coming.

The rain has been going down, and it’s endless. I only reached the undergraduate line by three points. The teacher once said that I have no problems in the key universities, but I am on the list.

I was sick when I saw the list. My father said that he took me to Beijing to buy the skirt that I didn't want to buy last time. My mother cooked the red jujube soup that I loved.

I still have a fever. At that time, it was still a bungalow. There were two jujube trees in the yard. The date was already juxtaposed. In front of the window, the rain fell. There were many raindrops on the leaves of the jujube trees. A drop dripped down like tears and flowed into my heart.

I know why I was on the list.

In the third year of high school, I became fascinated with writing novels and began to publish works. All the students in the school know that there is a girl who writes a particularly good article. That is me. So I am floating.

There are many acacia trees in the courtyard of Bazhou No. 1 Middle School. Later, they became a youth complex of mine. In many novels, I mentioned the acacia tree, the blossom of a tree and a tree, the pink, the umbrella-like, in the six or seven months of competition, exceptionally fragrant.

The melancholy girl under the tree began to publish some scattered things. In the newspaper, in the "Hebei Literature" that year, it was completely the image of a young female writer. I remember that a newspaper read by a middle school student in Nanjing called "Chunsun Newspaper", an editor named Meng Qiu, who edited my article and wrote a letter to encourage me. After more than ten years, I saw his article in "Southern Weekend". I was suspicious that he was the editor of Mengqiu in Nanjing. Later, I saw him go to the "Modern Express" as an editor, but I don’t know if this Mengqiu was the same year. Meng Qiu? I wrote "he" just wishful thinking that he is a male editor. In fact, he may not be a female editor. Because the memory of young people is so strong that I now see the name of this editor will be a hot heart.

At that time, I was also a celebrity of the school, because others would call my pen name directly, and my academic performance was not bad. The teacher had already placed high hopes on me.

However, I am on the list. This is the truth.

Many of my usual grades were not as good as my classmates, and they came to me happily to discuss what kind of travel bag to travel. In fact, they are not malicious, but I can hear it, but it is like a man on the back.

Where to go? Go to the aunt's house? Go to the grandmother's house in the country? The relatives and neighborhoods page there must also ask about the college entrance examination. I can't escape the nightmare when I go there. When I go out, someone will ask, is it admitted, how many points?

I am already crashing. The talented woman immediately became the object of sympathy. I felt that the world is so small, the rainy season is everywhere, and the endless rainy season.

My father has already gone to work for me. The mother said that if it doesn't work, go to Xinhua Bookstore and go to work. Reading a university seems to be a distant dream.

I cried a lot of times, listening to Qi Qin’s songs with headphones, those sentimental songs, every capital seems to be written to me, especially the "Wolf", always let me want to erupt, want to shout a few to the world sound.

But I still can't go anywhere, and I still have students coming.

Despair and decadence made me really collapse, I lost more than ten pounds, but within a few days!

It was still raining outside that day, and my parents went to work. I suddenly have a thought - I want to leave here, the farther the better, this place, can't wait!

Just do it! I found a few clothes, and then wiped out all the money in my mother's wallet. There are about seventy or eighty pieces. I left them a note: I went to distraction, don't Look for me, I am fine, will come back.

In fact, I don't know where I am going. Anyway, I just want to go, I can't stay in Bazhou. This place is terrible!

I rode the bicycle and went out to the east. To the east is Tianjin, am I going to Tianjin? Before I got on the old and new Spree bike, I was still hesitating where to go. After riding, I decided - I am going to Beidaihe, I Going to see the sea!

Before that, I rode the farthest to Baiyangdian. Baiyangdian is only 60 kilometers away from my home, and I went with other students. We have said that we have to go to the sea many times, but for many years, we have been stuck in our mouths.

I decided, at the age of eighteen, I am going to see the sea!

My mood is still heavy, my eyes are blurred, I feel a little sad, but I feel free, and finally no one asked me to score, and finally no one asked if I was admitted to college.

Going east, my legs began to sink and my mouth began to dry, but I kept on. Out of the sun, very poisonous sun, I am alone on the road, I am always east, always east.

At that time, there was very little water on the road. There were almost no bikers like me, and big trucks were also shuttled back and forth. I am riding, I don't know where it is.

In the evening, when I got off the bus, I almost fell to the ground. I went to Tianjin and ran to a small hotel called Jianhua. I only spent five yuan a night. When I entered the door, I drank a faucet and drank a cold water, then I fell down on the bed.

Eat cold skin, plus drink cold water, then start diarrhea. Fortunately, the boss is good, I found the norfloxacin for me to eat, and fortunately young, the next morning will be fine. The boss said, silly boy, where is this going? You see that your tires have been punctured.

I gave him three dollars. He asked someone to fix the bicycle for me, and then said, bring a bottle of water. I am reluctant to pay for it. He gave me a bottle of cool white and told me to be careful all the way.

After many years, I still remember the norfloxacin that he gave me and cool white. Later, I went to Tianjin many times, and I couldn't see the small hotel again. I probably already dismantled it.

When I arrived at Shanhaiguan, I was black and thin. It was already two days later.

When I saw the words "the first pass in the world", I lifted my bicycle by the top of my head. How young and how crazy I was when I was young!

I saw the sea!

A person who has never seen the sea finally saw the sea!

If a person just imagines the sea, then the sea is very big and blue, but when you really see the sea, you discover that this is not the case.

The sea is more like a drop of tears falling on the earth.

I was on the beach by the sea and suddenly felt something hot and flowing into my ears. At first I just shed tears. Later, I burst into tears, and the crying sound was quickly overwhelmed by the waves. Compared with these roaring waves, my crying was as small, even, insignificant.

It’s hard to tell what kind of state of mind it is. In an instant, I seem to be a little ignorant. Suddenly, my heart is clear, "Looking at the sea, spring blossoms." At that time, I was reading Haizi’s poem, which was later widely abused. But in that year, no one knows the true meaning of it better than I do.

I stayed at the beach for three days, almost spent all my money, bought a lot of pearl necklaces, picked up a lot of shells, I was so obsessed with the sea, watching the waves retreat, come back. I figured it out, and life is the same. Going forward and retreating, it is impossible to move forward. I also decided to go back to repeat! Although I am so reluctant to go to high school! Although I have to bow my head and endure for one year, however, I really want to go to college!

When I got back home, my parents cried.

They didn't beat me, but the mother's hair was a lot white, and my father lost a dozen pounds. They went to the search for people and went around to find me. My mother cried and hugged me, but I smirked and handed her a pearl necklace that she bought from Beidaihe for a few bucks. I said, Mom, put on a good look.

In July of the following year, I was admitted to the university. During the whole year of the fourth year of high school, I didn't write a novel. I did a nerd for a year without knowing what to do.

I understand after seeing the waves, life, it is necessary to advance and retreat.

After I went to college, I returned to my old business, wrote novels, and obsessed with writing. After many years, I have published more than forty books, and many of the books have been translated abroad. Some books have been on the bestseller list. Later, I taught at the Chinese Opera Academy. Someone asked me, have you always insisted on this?

I smiled and told her that I gave up because I gave up, in order to go forward better.

I am grateful to the time when I was 18 years old. It made me understand that life must go through setbacks. Flowers must wait for spring. Although some spring flowers come later, every flower must have its own opening. appearance.