Happiness and success, which is more important

I have seen an interview with American rock star Michael Jackson.

Speaking of his childhood, Michael Jackson hated his father who trained him. He lacks childhood playmates, has undergone rigorous training since he remembered, and spent most of his time performing. He said that he did not have a childhood, and he always wanted to be able to find his childhood happiness when he grew up. Behind the weird actions that have caused the world's criticism and suspicion, I have seen the trauma of Michael Jackson's childhood. From a psychological analysis point of view, this world superstar is pitiful.

No one can say that Michael Jackson’s father does not love children. He can even be a great father. He has cultivated a group of children who have grown up in a poverty-stricken environment into musicians who enjoy world reputation and have billions of money. From the perspective of him, he and his children should be considered "successors." However, the behaviors of children who have been repeatedly ridiculed in adulthood cannot be explained simply by the so-called "bad consciousness" that is commonly popular in our society.

Today, most of the children in Chinese families are only children. Children not only carry general social obligations, but also carry the dreams of parents and even grandparents in China's strong traditional culture. Each child has only one life, and the childhood time is short and precious. The experiences of this period often bury the complex that affects his life personality. Growing up healthy and happy in the sun is not only a need for childhood, but also a prerequisite for a child to have a healthy personality in adulthood.

A father is very upset when he talks about his daughter's education. He and his wife have been arguing over this. He wants the child to play a little more time, don't make it too tired, but he can't control his wife's thoughts. He said that the idea of ​​"only reading high" has solidified in every nerve of his wife. She let her daughter learn this school all day long, and her child's nature has been greatly suppressed. But he also thought that it would not be a bad thing for children to suffer from childhood. Now constraining the child's freedom, maybe it is a kind of tempering!

He asked me what kind of attitude should I take?

I told him that children also live in reality, and the ability to deal with reality is definitely necessary. The key is to grasp one degree and "appropriate". When children go to school, their grades are not good, their classmates will discriminate, and teachers will not like them. Naturally, they cannot talk about self-esteem and self-confidence. Therefore, good grades are necessary.

My son has a good grade since he was a child, but after he was in high school, he was extremely tired of politics and composition classes. At one time, his performance was not ideal. The reason is naturally many. My son used to take out his language test questions and let me answer. As a result, I have made a lot of mistakes for such a writer. But I don't want my children to be inferior to these courses, because under the current education system, these courses will calculate the same scores in the college entrance examination as mathematics. I told him that the quality of the test will directly affect his ability to enter the ideal university, which will affect his future.

Now, many experts question our education system and education content, and I also have this question. However, the formation of the education system is a long-term process, not something that can be changed in the short term, and not as an individual's parents and children.

After all, it is still that point of view - the success of Ding Junhui and Lang Lang has no universal significance. Our ordinary people, ordinary children, still have to follow the current educational norms.

When you talk about your child's future, you can't leave the growing environment. Children need to be “successful” in the general secular sense during their growth, such as having a good job in school and growing up to have a good job. If the children enter the society in the future, their peers will surpass him in career and income, which will make the child's psychological imbalance, and the same experience will not be happy. This is not a simple psychological quality issue. However, it is natural for children to understand these in childhood and adolescence. Therefore, the attitude of parents is crucial.

It is undoubtedly more important to let the children succeed, but also to be happy and happy.