Dear big sister

1

When my parents died in a car accident, the eldest sister was seventeen years old and was on the high school. My brother and I, Xiaojie, had just read the fifth grade of the national minor.

I still remember that someone was coming to our house that day. I forgot what they said and what I did. I only remember that I and Xiaojie kept crying, not only because of sorrow, but also because of fear, we fell into the loss of our parents. In great fear. Later, the big sister hugged us, and the three of us cried together. I cried and said, "We don't have a father, no mother." The big sister clung to us and said in a hoarse voice: "Don't be afraid, mom and dad go. You still have a sister."

After the funeral was over, the elder sister dropped out of school and went to work at the printing factory where my parents used to work. At that time, the older sister was not working at the age of her. She was thin and not tall, and she looked small and thin. In order to go to work, she went to the factory director and deputy director. They felt that our three brothers and sisters were pitiful and made an exception to let her enter the factory.

When the eldest sister just got to work, because of the labor intensity, she was tired of dreaming at night. Sometimes she shouted loudly and woke us up. She was confused and gave us a quilt and said, "Sleep." She often has a hole in the hand that is cut by paper. Gradually her fingers and joints are somewhat deformed. When she carries too many things, her legs will become limping, but even then she will limping. Go home and cook for me and Xiaojie with her rough and deformed hands.

Big sister used to be the most beautiful and quiet girl on our street. It is our role model for many parents to educate their children. But after her parents died, the big sister changed, and the big blue cloth overalls drowned her waist. The original long hair was cut short and looked like a tomboy. She also became very hot, and in order to return to the poor pension, she was swaying in front of her uncle's house; in order to cut a dime in order to buy food, she clashed with hawkers loudly; We whistled in front of our house, and she rushed out after copying the stick.

My twin brother Xiaojie was sick and sick from childhood. He often had a fever at night. Every time he had a fever, my sister gave him medicine. He sat on his bed halfway and wiped his face with a wet towel. My sister slept, and the head touched a big bag on the edge of the bed. She rubbed her hand, and no matter what, she continued to wipe her face with Xiaojie. After returning to the middle of the night, Xiaojie still had a high fever. My sister called me up, and I plugged the door, and then I went to the nearby hospital with Xiaojie. My sister was also thin and thin, and she did a day's work, and she didn't sleep in the middle of the night. In the winter, Xiaojie went back to the hospital and sweated. The clothes were all sloppy.

Xiaojie is very thin because of his illness. He is not tall enough, his grades are poor, and there are always boys bullying him in the school and in our street. A few times, his eye was swollen and his mouth was broken. The older sister asked him if he was being bullied. He didn't talk, just cried, and he was so angry that he didn't make a fuss. Later, for a while, the elder sister picked us up when we were out of school, and took the wicker rod in the hand. During that time, Xiaojie didn’t swear again. Later, the older sister had to work overtime, and there was no way to pick us up. I handed the wicker pole to Xiaojie and said to him: "If someone hits you later, you will fight back. You are afraid that others will beat you, and you will not be afraid of death. If they come, they won’t dare to provoke you.” I thought and thought again. “If there are more people, you can’t beat it. Just run and go to a place with lots of people.” Xiaojie’s words in front of the big sister Remember, the latter words are remembered. One day someone intercepted him at the street and yelled at him. He ran to his home and ran into the door and screamed "Sister, someone hit me!" My sister was cooking and heard. Shouting with a kitchen knife came out, shouting at the gang of half-size children who chased the door: "Whoever dares to touch my brother, I will smash him." About my sister's momentum is too scary, that half The size of the child slowly exited the door, and the children nearby did not find Xiaojie.

Compared with the weak Xiaojie, I have to be strong and stubborn since I was a child. I have been a tyrant from the middle of the country, and my grades are far ahead of the whole grade. If someone is close to my grades, I will redouble my efforts and take the man far. I am very sensitive and have a strong self-esteem, because there is a girl in the class who said that my hair is smelly. I wash my hair every day after she said it. In the cold winter, the older sister is afraid that I will catch cold, and I will not let my hair wash. I will not listen. The older sister will help me to burn hot water while swearing at me.

At the time of the third day, I was totally rebellious. At that time, the hardest "big boss" of our grade was chasing me. Every day after school, he rode his bicycle and followed me with a hippie smile. I didn't care about him at first. Later, Xiaojie told the big sister that I was mixed with the little. The older sister trained me. I was very angry. In the next few days, I took the initiative to sit in the back seat of the "Boss" and swayed through the city. Later, one day I was hit by the big sister. She stopped us on the street and yelled at me and got off the bus. I didn’t come down, but I sang songs without incident. Big sister is mad, come over and yell at me, I take a picture of the "Boss" back, shouting "fast ride", the bicycle will fly, watching the older sister running behind, the more I am proud and rising A faint pain. Later, the big sister disappeared, I let the "Boss" stop, jumped from the back seat and told him "Don't follow me later, I don't like you." Then he left him alone and turned away.

When I went home that day, my older sister yelled at me, "I didn't learn well." I also slapped me a slap in the face. It was the first time that my eldest sister hit me. I opened my eyes and took the tears that were coming out, and stared at her for a few minutes. Then turned and ran. I ran to the train station and wanted to buy a ticket to go anywhere. Anyway, I don't want to go back to that house anymore. But I have no money in my pocket. I sat in the waiting room that night, and I was cold and hungry. Several people wearing old coats kept aiming at me with my eyes, aiming at my heart. But even then I don't want to go back, I don't want to bow to my eldest sister. Later, a staff member went to the waiting room to swear. I stood up and didn't know where to go. At this time, the big sister ran into the waiting room like a wind, and saw me under the dim light. She ran over and stared at me. The face was a little purple and the eyes were red. She yelled at me, "You run! Where are you going? Go home with me!" Then he turned and went straight.

It was midnight after I got home. The big sister gave me a bowl of hot noodle soup. I lay an egg in my face and put sesame oil. The bowl was really fragrant. I sang the face and the whole person was warm. Be practical. Big sister always looked at me, didn't say anything, but seemed to turn her back and sneaked into tears. I am very similar to her personality. They are people who won't be soft. We didn't apologize to each other that day, but I never left home again.

2

I graduated from a high school and got a good university. I didn’t even graduate from Xiaojie’s high school. The older sister said that I would send him to learn some technology. Whether you are going to college or going to school, you need money. Those years for me and Xiaojie to eat and go to school, the big sister's salary has been stretched, the older sister is always rushing to work overtime, plus the months of careful calculation, our days are barely maintained. For our small family without any savings, it is hard to add two tuition fees at once. In those days, my eldest sister always had dark circles in the morning. I knew that she didn’t sleep well at night, and worried about the money. I also knew that she had borrowed money from her uncle’s family, but she did not borrow it.

The days of leaving school are getting closer and closer. When I was eating in the evening, I said, "I don't want to go to school, I want to work." Big sister gave me a blank look. "What do you say, you are only 18 years old, no? Going to school, can you do it?"

"Are you not working on the 17th, can't I?" I said with my head down.

The older sister didn’t talk for a long time, but later said: “Because I went to work so early, I know what the morning shift is like, so I don’t want you to be like me. You don’t care about anything, you are ready to go to school. Let's go."

After the meal was finished, the big sister suddenly said: "There is something to tell you, I am getting engaged, and I am going straight."

Xiaojie stunned, but Zhang Dazui forgot to talk. I took the bowl to the table. "I don't agree!" The big sister said that the straight man lived in the westernmost part of our street, and he opened it. There is a haircut in the shaving hall. Others don’t look good, it’s still a blind man. I can't accept the big sister to be engaged with such a person. I know that the big sister likes Xiaobin, who is crossing the street. When Xiaobin was admitted to college, he came to my house to send a reference book to the big sister, saying that if the older sister went back to school, Can also be admitted to the university. The eldest sister did not go back to school, but I saw the elder sister on several occasions groping for the cover with one of the reference books, and the expression was infinite.

When the big sister cleaned up the tableware, he said to us: "Whether you disagree, I have to be engaged with the straight. I remember seeing him later."

The next day, my eldest sister sold the waste. When I helped her to move things out, I found that the reference books given by Xiaobin’s brother were inside. I looked at the big sister and she didn’t seem to have any expression on her face, but I know that the older sister is iron. The heart is going to marry the straight, and she has broken her last thoughts.

My brother and I haven't started school yet. The big sister's engagement ceremony will be done. She doesn't want anything for her bride price, as long as she has money. One day before the engagement, Shunzi dad handed an envelope with a stack of money to the big sister and said: "These are enough for your brother and sister's tuition, small screen, as long as you live with the straight, and they pay tuition every year, we It won't matter."

My sister nodded and said nothing. My heart is as uncomfortable as a knife.

3

When I was a sophomore, my older sister married my brother. I didn't go back to their wedding. In fact, the city I went to school was not far from home, but I felt that I could not face this wedding. In the next two years, I didn't go home during the holidays. I explained to my older sister that I would stay in the city where the university is located. Work-study is really true, but the more real reason is that I feel that my older sister is married, she became the wife of my brother, and our original home no longer exists.

After graduating from college, I found a job in the city where the university is located, and did not return to the city of my hometown. After work, I rarely go home. When the older sister sends me a living allowance as before, I will mail it back to her and add some of my income.

On a winter day, my eldest sister called and called my unit. I must go home and say that Xiaojie is getting married.

I took a few days off from the unit and took the train home. I didn't call to tell the big sister when I went back, got off the train, took a taxi to the street near my house, and I went back with my luggage. After leaving home, the city has changed a bit. Many of the old houses were demolished, and there were shops and shops that were not available before. However, there are still some things that remain the same, such as the original market is still there, some old stalls, and the old bungalows in our old streets are still there. Passing through the market selling fruits and vegetables, there is a loud noise. I couldn't help but stop. There was a city management outside the law enforcement. The city management forced a small stall to the car. The vendor shouted and screamed at the city management, and sprinkled it, preventing the city management from pulling things away. There were a few people around, but no one came up to dissuade them. There was no way to discourage such things. My gaze fell on the vendor. It was a woman, wearing a half-old cotton jacket, her hair was tied behind her head, and a few squats were scattered on the cheeks that were blown purple by the cold wind. She shouted with a cry, went to fight with the city management for a scale, could not get back, just sat on the ground and cried. I looked at her, my heart suddenly got pinned, and suddenly it hurt. The woman who is crying is my big sister.

My footsteps stopped in place, half a mile, and I turned and fled.

I went around the street to go home. The door of the old home is already worn out under the erosion of wind and rain, but the yard is still clean, and it seems that people often come to clean it. I took the pressed key from a brick under the window sill. I used the key to open the door. I haven't come back for a long time. The house is still the same. I put things down and my eyes burst into tears.

I stayed in the room for a long time, the door rang, and the big sister came back. The tears on her face had just been blown dry by the wind. There was a lot of soil on the clothes. She saw me, first licked her lips, and then called my name. "Xiaoyan, you are back." I sighed with tears. Nodded, my older sister, just 30 years old, but it seems to be a somewhat old woman.

The eldest sister came up and grabbed my hand. Her palm was rough and there was frostbite on her back. Her expression was a little excited. "You don't say anything when you come home, I will pick you up. The house has been around for a long time, cold, You go with me to the place where I live now."

The eldest sister took me to her current home, a set of sixty-five flat old buildings, which was the house of the mother of the year. Big sister pulled me down. "You must be hungry. What do you want to eat? Big sister is doing it for you... There are not many foods at home. What do you want to eat? I will go out and buy." She said slyly, that reminds me of that. When my mother is alive.

"Just eat a bowl of hot noodle soup, I haven't eaten your noodles for a long time." I said. The big sister went to do it immediately. The noodle soup was made very quickly. I lay an egg, put the sesame oil, and put a few green vegetables. I screamed and ate, and my body quickly warmed up.

When I finished eating, I looked up at my eldest sister and found out that she was looking at me without blinking. When I saw her, I was embarrassed in my eyes. I lowered my head and asked me: "Xiao Yan, these years are outside, eaten." A lot of suffering?"

These years are outside, I also suffered a bit, but how about it, but also the big sister, think of the scene just now, my eyes almost wet.

I asked the elder sister about the situation. The elder sister told me that the printing house closed down last year. She is now selling goods on the roadside, and the business is fine. Now that the beauty salon is springing up like a mushroom, the business of the shaved head in the shame is getting worse and worse, but there is no problem. The big sister's words are understated, but I know how much helplessness and hardship it contains.

Sister Speaks to me about Xiaojie’s marriage. She said that she has been paying money to Xiaojie for marriage in these years. Now Xiaojie is looking for an object. Nothing else is fine. The only thing that people are dissatisfied with is our old house. The woman asked to live in the building. Big sister told me that she had already discussed with her brother. They moved to the old house and vacated the building to Xiaojie.

"How can this be?" I immediately objected.

The older sister said: "There is nothing wrong with it. The old house is clean and well packed. It is more spacious than the building. I like to live in the old house of our house."

I was speechless for a while, in the heart of my eldest sister, as long as I and Xiaojie are happy, better than anything.

Xiaojie left the home the next day after she got married. The big sister sent me to the station and took my hand and said, "I will find an object early and become a family. The money sisters you sent to your sister have been yelling at you these years. When the time comes, the sister will give you a dowry."

I said with tears: "Now what dowry is not popular, then I have money. Sister, what do you want to buy something if you want to buy something?" She still thought about my dowry, but when she got married, one point There is no dowry for money.

To enter the station, the eldest sister stood in the wind and waved at me. Her hair was blown up by the wind. I turned and walked quickly, not looking back at her.

4

After a few years in a winter, my boyfriend asked me to marry me. I said to him: "Let me go home. If I get married, my sister agrees." My boyfriend gave me a surprised look, then clicked. nod. I am actually surprised that I will suddenly come up with such a sentence, but just in the face of a major decision in life, my mind thought of my sister.

I led my boyfriend into the street where I lived in the past. This street has changed a lot. Some houses have been demolished. The undemolition marks are also marked with signs of demolition. In the wreckage of a piece of wall, we walked towards me step by step. s home.

Pushing open the door, a fragrant smell came from the nose, and the big sister was busy in the kitchen. We walked to the kitchen door, the big sister happened to come out, look at me, look at my boyfriend, and my expression is excited. "Come back, come back! Well, I will prepare to eat later, know that you are coming back, I will go home early. Cooked the noodles, went out to the dumplings and went home, let's eat noodles."

The big sister's noodle soup is really fragrant, warm and warm. That meal, my boyfriend ate two bowls of noodles, the big sister was very happy, quietly told me that this man is good, it looks like Sven, people are real, I am married to him, she is relieved.

The older sister also told me that our old house was going to be demolished. Xiaojie came to discuss with her and wanted to change the house back. "Why, it was them who wanted to live in the building. Now the old house is going to be demolished for a new building. They have to go back. This is how it happened." I am not satisfied with the big sister, why is it always her hardship.

Big sister smiled and said: "I didn't intend to have this house. Xiaojie is the only boy in our family. If you don't plan to share the property with him, the house will be returned to him."

Of course, I don't plan to want a property, but I think that the big sister has been wronged all these years. The big sister patted my arm. "You and Xiaojie are doing well. Big sister is more happy than anything."

When I left, my eldest sister gave me an envelope with the money I sent to her in these years. I said nothing, the older sister stuffed the envelope into my arms. "Sister can't give you more, these, you Buy something for marriage. If you have a hard time, come back and find your sister."

"Sister, do you have any wishes?" I left, I asked my eldest sister. If the older sister says that she wants to travel, I will take her off immediately. If she wants something, I will buy it for her immediately. These years, my eldest sister is too bitter. He always thinks about us and never thinks about what he needs.

But the big sister just took my hand and said, "The big sister hopes that you will come back often."

I nodded with tears.

On the platform, the big sister waved at me. The neck that was tied around her was the purple scarf that I bought back to her last time. The scarf and the hair of the big sister were blown up by the wind, making the whole figure of the big sister look a bit cool.

5

At the age of 30, I encountered some bumps, my work encountered a lot of trouble, and my marriage was in crisis. I was depressed and disheartened. I felt that life was not interesting, and I even had a few suicidal thoughts.

On a cold morning, I walked on the empty street and didn't know where to go. I don't know how long I have gone, I suddenly found out that I was taking the road to the train station. So, following my inner choice, I went to the station and bought a ticket back to my hometown.

When I got off the bus, I went straight to the noodle restaurant opened by my eldest sister. At the entrance of the noodle restaurant, I saw the big sister. She was moving cabbage from a car. When the big sister saw me, she was surprised and happy. She put down the cabbage, wiped her hand on the apron, and ran over and took my hand.

I burst into tears.

"What's wrong, Xiaoyan?" The big sister was frightened and asked me hard.

"Nothing, sister, I just missed you, I want to eat the hot noodle soup you made." I said.

The big sister immediately took me to the store and cooked it for me.

The bowl was hot, lying on the poached egg, putting the sesame oil, and a little green vegetable, this taste, really familiar, this warm, not only let my stomach iron, so that I am no longer cold.

When I was eating noodles, my eldest sister looked at me with a worried expression. When I finished eating, she asked me: "Xiaoyan, have you encountered something difficult? Tell the sister, the sister will give you the title."

In an instant, I seemed to see the big sister who sent us to school with a wicker pole, the big sister who protected us with a kitchen knife.

I shook my head. I didn't need the big sister to solve it with me. I ate the hot soup noodle of the big sister. I have the strength. I can solve my own difficulties.

Big sister said to me: "Xiaoyan, if you are not happy outside, come home, the big sister now has this noodle restaurant, can support you."

I nodded. I now know how important the big sister is to me. Even if she becomes a mediocre woman who has gone through all the vicissitudes of life, she is still my protector.

In this world, all people abandon me, my big sister will not. My sister hurts me, I have the strength to live.