Admit mistakes to get a good feeling

I lived in the geographic center of the metropolis of New York, but within a minute of walking from home, there was a forest. When spring comes, wildflowers bloom in the woods, and squirrels build nests there to raise their children. The horsetail grows so high. This complete woodland is called "forest park".

It was a forest park, and it might not be much different from the scene when Columbus discovered the Americas. I often take the Boston pug "Rex" and go for a walk in the park. He is a cute and docile puppy. Because I rarely see people in the park, I don't wear a leash or a cage for Rex. .

One day, I was still in the park with Rex and saw a policeman riding a horse... a policeman eager to show his authority.

He said to me loudly: "You let the dog that doesn't wear a cage run around the park. Don't you know that it is illegal?"

I replied softly: "Yes, I know, but I don't think he will hurt people here."

The policeman’s head and neck were too hard to say: “Do you think? Don’t you? You can’t think of it, the law doesn’t matter how you think about it... your dog will hurt the squirrels here, and it will bite the children here. This time I have tolerated you. Next time I see that your dog is not chained, and you don’t wear a cage, you have to talk to the judge."

I nodded and promised to abide by what he said.

I really followed the policeman's words... but only a few times. The reason is that "Rex" doesn't like to put a mouth on his mouth, and I don't want to wear it for it. So we decided to try our luck. At first, I was safe, and once I finally got into a nail. At that time, I took "Rex" and ran to a hill, looking ahead, and saw the policeman riding the horse at a glance. "Rex" certainly won't know what's going on, it's in front of me, jumping and rushing straight to the police.

This time I knew that things were broken, so I didn't wait for the police to speak, just said it myself. I said this: "Police officer, I am willing to accept your punishment, because you said it last time, in this park, the dog mouth does not wear a cage, it is a violation of the law."

The policeman used a soft tone and said, "Hey, I know that when there is no one, it is quite interesting to take a dog to the park."

I smiled a bit and said, "Yes, it's very interesting. Just, I have violated the law."

The policeman defended me and said: "A pug like this can't hurt people."

I looked very seriously: "But it may hurt the squirrel!"

The policeman said to me: "That is what you think is too serious. I tell you what to do, you just let the puppy run over the mountain, don't let me see it, this thing will be fine."

This policeman has a general humanity; he needs to get a sense of self-esteem. When I admit my mistakes, the only way he can grow a sense of self-esteem is to adopt a generous attitude and show his kindness.

At that time, if I argued and defended with the police, the effect would be exactly the opposite.

I don't argue with him. I admit that he is completely right, and I am absolutely wrong. I quickly and frankly admit my mistakes. Because I said what he said, and he resolved for me, it ended satisfactorily. The police last used the law to scare me, but this time forgive me, Sir James, I am afraid it will not be as kind as he is.

If we already know that we must be punished, then why not blame ourselves and find out our own shortcomings, is it better than the criticism from others?

If you quickly find a chance to admit your mistake before others blame you, if the other party wants to say something, you have said it for him, he has nothing to say, then you have 99% chance Get his understanding. Just like the horseman riding the horse to me and "Rex".

Hua Lun is a commercial artist who has used this method to gain the confidence and affection of a rude and rude customer.

When Hua Lun recalled this incident, he said: "When painting for advertisers or publishers, the most important thing is concise and accurate."

Some art editors are asking to complete the work they have handed in immediately. In this case, it is difficult to avoid a few minor errors. Among the people I know, there is a guest who is responsible for the art business. I like to be picky and wrong. I often leave his office very unpleasantly. It was not because he was criticized and critical, but it was not appropriate for the art director to point out the problem.

Recently, I handed in a painting that I had done in a hurry. Later I got a call from him and asked me to go to his office right away. Sure enough, as I expected, he looked angry and seemed to give me a criticism and a lesson. I suddenly thought of the "self-blame yourself" approach I learned in the workshop. So I immediately said, "Sir, I know that you will be upset. That is my unforgivable negligence. I have painted these paintings for you for a few years. I should know how to paint. I feel very embarrassed!"

After listening to me, the art director said that he said: "Yes, though, it’s not too bad... just..."

I plugged in and said, "No matter how bad the degree is, it will always be affected. It will be annoying when people look at it."

He has to intervene, but I will not let him say. This is the first time I have criticized myself in my life, and I am very willing to do so.

I went on to say, "I should be more careful. You usually take care of my business. You should get what you are satisfied with... I will take it back and make another one."

He shook his head and said, "No, no... I don't want you to have more trouble..."

He began to praise me and told me very seriously that what he asked for was only a minor modification. He also pointed out that this small mistake, his company's interests will not be lost. He told me that this is a very small mistake and does not need to be too concerned.

Because I was eager to criticize myself, it made him angry. Finally, he asked me to eat lunch. When we broke up, he signed a check for me and entrusted me with another job.

Any stupid person will try his best to defend his fault. A person who can admit his mistakes can make him stand out and give him a sense of honor and nobleness.

There is an example of this: One of the most perfect things done by General Lee in the South during the Civil War was that he blamed himself for the failure of "Picked" in the Battle of Gettysburg.

Pickdeer’s charge was the most glorious and vivid war in Western history. Pickde is handsome and handsome. His twilight hair stayed long and almost draped over his shoulders... Like Napoleon in the Battle of Italy, he was busy writing his love letters on the battlefield every day.

In the afternoon of the tragic July. He triumphantly rode his horse and rushed to the Allied Front. The heroic gesture won the applause of all the soldiers and followed him to move forward. The army of the Northern Coalition Front is far from this side. Seeing such a team can not help but whisper a whisper.

The army led by Pickett quickly advanced forward, through the orchard, farmland, grassland, across the gorge... The enemy's artillery fire struck them, but they still bravely moved forward.

Suddenly, the coalition forces ambushing in the hidden area of ​​the mountain back stone wall swarmed from behind and shot at the unprepared Pickled army guns. The top of the mountain was like a volcano. In a matter of minutes, almost four-fifths of all the five thousand troops led by Pickett fell.

With the remnant army, Armstrong jumped over the stone wall and picked up the military cap with a knife tip. He screamed and said loudly, "Brothers, kill!"

Suddenly, the morale of the people was violent. They grabbed the stone wall and met with each other. After a melee, they finally erected the flag of the South Army on the top of the mountain.

The flag flutters at the top of the mountain. Although the time is short, it is the highest record of the Southern Allied forces.

In this battle, Pickeder won the praise of his glory and courage, but it was also the beginning of his end... General Lee failed! He knew that he could not go deep into the north.

The South Army has failed!

General Lee was heavily hit. With grief and sorrow, he presented his resignation to the president of the Southern Alliance Government, Davis. Please send another "young-strong person" to lead the army. If General Lee blames Pickde's fiasco on others, he can find dozens of excuses... Some of the division commanders are not responsible, the horse team support is too late, and they cannot assist the infantry attack in time. Is this right? If there is something wrong, you can find a lot of reasons.

However, General Lee does not blame others and does not blame others. When Pickeder led the remnant army back, General Lee was alone to ride to meet them. Awesomely blaming:

"This is my fault. I should bear all the responsibilities for this battle failure."

In the history of the famous generals, there is very little such courage and character, dare to admit their mistakes.

Hobart's work is very inflammatory to the reader, and his ridiculous words often arouse people's dislike and dissatisfaction with him. However, Hobart has his special set of skills, he can turn an enemy into his friend.

For example, when there are some angry readers who write to criticize his work, Hobart will give them such an answer: "Yes, after I think about it, I can't even agree with myself. What I wrote yesterday, I may not agree with it today. I really want to know, your opinion on this issue, next time you come to the neighborhood, welcome you to come to talk to me, I will shake hands with you."

If you receive such a letter, what can you say?

If we are right, we subtly let others agree with our point of view. However, when we are wrong, we must acknowledge our mistakes quickly and honestly. Using this method can not only achieve amazing results, but in some cases, it is more interesting than defending yourself.

Don't forget to say the following: "With the method of scramble, you can never be satisfied. But when you are modest, you can get more than you expect." So, you have to get people's consent to you, It must be done: If you are wrong, quickly and solemnly admit it.