Qu Qiubai's extra words

Qu Qiubai: Extra words

Qu Qiubai

-------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------

"Know me, that is my heart; I don't know who I am, what do I ask for." Why do you say? - Preface

-------------------------------------------------- ----------------------

Since the words are superfluous, why bother to say? It is already the end of life, and the remaining days can not be counted according to the year, or even by the week. There is something to say, but it can be said that

Not to mention it.

However, unfortunately I was involved in "historical entanglements" - until now, many people outside think what I am like. I am not afraid of blaming and blaming others. I am afraid that people will "admire". I hope that the young people in the future will not learn from me. Do not think that what I have written before is representative of what kind ofism. So I am willing to write the last and most frank words when the remaining life is not over.

Moreover, because of "historical misunderstandings", I have barely done political work for fifteen years. - Just because you are stubborn, you can never do it well. You are doing this in your hand, thinking about it. At that time, it was a form of ban, no embarrassment and possible to talk about my own thoughts, and always have to play a certain role. Now that I have been completely disarmed, I have been pulled out of the ranks, leaving me alone, and I have the urge and need of my own heart. When you talk about your heart, you will completely reveal your inner truth. The temper of self-analysis of the petty-bourgeois intellectuals that the Bolsheviks hate cannot be prevented.

Although I know that what I have written here may not be able to reach the readers, I may not have the value of publishing. However, I still write about it. People tend to talk about the day, sometimes no matter who they are listening to, they can talk a few words, and their hearts will be happy. Moreover, I am on the eve of extinction. This is my last chance to "talk to the sky"!

-------------------------------------------------- ----------------------

Historical misunderstanding

After my mother’s suicide family was separated, I ran to Beijing and I was only willing to be admitted to Peking University to study Chinese literature. I will be a teacher in the future. What is the ambition of "ruling the country to the world" is not there. It is bad to read books in the "book of seeds", love literature and art, can not be self-disciplined and concentrate on the promotion of wealth. After arriving in Beijing, living in the cousin's pure white home, Peking University's school meal fee also hopes that he can help me - he does not have this possibility, told me to go to the ordinary civil service exam, but did not test it, the result is to pick a The Ministry of Foreign Affairs of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, which does not have tuition fees and has a "born", goes to enter. In this way, I began to learn Russian. I didn't know that Russia had revolutionized, and I didn't know the great significance of Russian literature, but it was the ability to make a bowl of rice in the future.

I started to read many new magazines in 1918. There seems to be considerable progress in my thinking, and a new outlook on life is taking shape. However, according to my character, what is formed is not so much a revolutionary thought, but rather a rationalization of the world. So when the first friends of China Zheng Zhenduo, Ru Shiying, and Ji Ji organized the "New Society" magazine, I was an anarchist close to the Tolstoy, and basically I was not a "political animal." During the May Fourth Movement, there was only very short-term political activity. Soon, because I have been able to look up the dictionary to see the famous Russian literature, my attention is mostly on the literary and artistic aspects. For political all kinds of philosophies, they simply seek some modern common sense and are not interested in detailed research. However, it can be said that the "historical misunderstanding" began at this time: this is the case - at the beginning of the May Fourth Movement, I became one of the general representatives of Russian specialization.

At that time, some of the classmates were unwilling to do it. As a result, I had to be the "political leader" of this school. I had to organize classmates to participate in the political movement at that time. Soon, Li Dazhao and Zhang Dainian initiated the Marxist Research Society. I also read some of the "Women and Society" of Bebel's in Russian, and I was curious about the society, especially the ultimate ideal of socialism. Interest, so also joined. At this time, it was probably at the end of 1919 and the end of 1920, the student movement was changing and diverging, and the work of the student union was not as enthusiastic as it used to be. I will read more books.

Finally, I had the opportunity to go to Russia. The Beijing Morning Post will send a correspondent to Moscow to come to me. I think, taking a look at the "new country", especially taking the opportunity to study Russian literature well, is indeed the most pleasant thing, so I set off.

Initially, I did eat black bread for a few months and I was hungry for a while. Later, the Russian domestic war stopped, the new economic policy was implemented, and life was more generous. In the past few months, I have invited private professors to study the history of Russian, Russian, and Russian literature. At the same time, in order to cope with the morning news communication, I also carefully read the newspapers and archives of the Communist Party of Russia and investigated some revolutionary deeds. I had only sympathy and considerable understanding of communism. I did not expect to join the Communist Party, and I did not even have the heart to be the "founder" of the Chinese Communist Party. Because at that time, I misunderstood that joining the party would not be able to specialize in literature - learning literature seems to be a concept of not revolution, and it was already in use at that time.

However, in Moscow at the time, except for me, a Russian translation could not be found. Therefore, when the Oriental University started the Chinese class, I became the translator and teaching assistant of Dongda University. Because of the relationship between the positions, I had to study some theoretical books on Marxism, but the literature and art were less. Soon, Chen Duxiu represented the Chinese Communist Party to Moscow, and I was his translator. When he returned to China, he asked me to go back to work, and I went back to Beijing with him. When Yu Youren, Deng Zhongxia and others created the "Shanghai University", I was in Shanghai. This is the summer of 1922. They asked me to be the provost and head of the Department of Sociology. At that time, I only had a little propaganda work in the party and edited "New Youth."

In the early days of Shangda, I still had some research on literature and art. When I went to the Kuomintang to reorganize, I went to Shanghai and Guangzhou to translate and participate in some Kuomintang work. In January 1925, the Fourth National Congress of the Communist Party, Elected my Central Committee member. At this time, it is almost impossible to do political work. My lung disease has been attacking from time to time, and it is even less likely to engage in the literature I love. Although I was quite interested in political issues at the time, I sometimes missed the literary arts and "suddenly lost."

On the eve of the Wuhan era, I was out of danger from serious illness. When the illness was near, the political opinions of Chen Duxiu and Peng Shuzhi gradually exposed the essence of opportunism, and the general party members lost their faith in them. At the Fifth Congress of the Communist Party of China, although the show was still selected, it is not enough for the party's leadership. After the split of the Kuomintang and the Communist Party in Wuhan, the show was withdrawn from the central government. At that time, no one else presided over, it was my turn to preside over the Central Political Bureau. In fact, although I published some arguments against Peng Shuzhi at the end of 1926 and early 1927, I had to oppose Chen Duxiu. However, I was not willing to replace them at all - at least alone. I am indeed a kind of reconciliation. At that time, I only wanted to be able to correct his misconceptions and not to listen to theories. When I was forced to do so, I wanted to "take the show and replace it." I felt very "incompatible" at first, but there was no other way to distinguish it. In this way, I am responsible for the year of direct political leadership. During this period, Nanchang riots, Guangzhou riots, and the earliest autumn harvest riots occurred. At that time, my leadership was different in style from the era of solo. The solo show is attended and hosted by no size. I am very unclear and uninterested in the organization, especially the military. Therefore, I only publish general political opinions. The rest of the dispatched personnel and the specific plans implemented are completely listened to by the Ministry of Military Affairs of the Organization Department. At that time, I felt that I was bored, but I felt like I was going to withdraw from the leadership position. In this way, I barely passed this period.

When the Communist Party opened its sixth meeting in June 1928, many comrades opposed me and many comrades in favor of me. My advancement and retreat has become a joint issue of the party's political proposition. Therefore, although I have repeatedly said, "You have spared me, I really have no interest and ability to shoulder this leadership work." However, I finally did not say anything. At that time, the shape was banned, there were no other people in the old cadres, and the situation of the new cadres to rise and lead was not mature yet. I had to still carry this name. However, in fact, after the "six major", the direct leaders of the Chinese Communist Party are Li Lisan and Xiang Zhongfa and so on. Because they presided over the actual work in the country, and I was a representative in Moscow for two years. Until the political line of Lisan took the wrong path, I returned to Shanghai to open the Third Plenary Session. I feel that my political ability is indeed very weak, and I can't tell the extent of the mistake. As a result, the central government had to recruit further meetings—the Fourth Plenary Session, to expel Lisan’s Central Committee members, my Politburo members, and the new cadres to take over the top political leaders. I felt relieved at the time. From 1925 to the beginning of 1933, it was five years. I actually became one of the leaders of the Chinese Communist Party. In the last three years, I even seemed to be the most important leader.

I am self-satisfied, character, talent, and knowledge like me, when the leader of the Chinese Communist Party is indeed a "historical misunderstanding." I was a "literary person" who was half-hanging. Until the end, "the literati did not divide." For politics, interest has gradually diminished since 1927. In the most recent year, there was absolutely no interest in the year of Ruijin. Work is a "but no way" attitude, and the political situation in the country is too lazy to ask. On the one hand, it is actually a weak body, lack of energy, and a state of fatigue of twelve points; other aspects are political translations and political work that have been stubbornly burdened for decades to "take care of the overall situation" and have been delayed, which is a violation of me. The result of interest and disposition. This is really a misunderstanding for ten years, a nightmare.

When I write these words, I am not going to detach any responsibility - objectively, I should bear any responsibility for the Communist Party or the "Party State" of the Kuomintang. I will never refrain from it, and I must never forgive or mitigate it with my subjective emotions. I just want to tell my true feelings before I die. In short, I am actually a very ordinary literati. I have lost the reputation of a certain party leader for ten years. This is not a "historical misunderstanding". What is it?

Fragile duality

A weak horse dragged a few thousand pounds of heavy-duty trucks and climbed up the steep slopes. It was impossible to climb up step by step. It is impossible to go backwards. It is really impossible to go further. When I was in charge of political leadership, it was such a feeling. The fatigue that I want to stop makes me feel an indescribable weight. Mentally political burnout makes me want a "sweet" rest, so that my brain is numb and I stop all kinds of thoughts. After the Fourth Plenary Session of the Communist Party of China was expelled from the Politburo Committee in January 1931, my mental state was indeed a situation in which "the heart is empty and nothing", and it is still the case until now.

I am only thirty-six years old, but I feel that I am already very declining. I have no interest in young people. Not only the general political problems are too lazy to think, it is all entertainment, and even the scenery is indifferent. Originally, I had vomiting blood sickness in 1919, and I have never had a chance to heal. The development of tuberculosis went to a very dangerous stage in 1926, and it was fortunate and reluctant to heal that year. However, I immediately rushed to Wuhan, and immediately it was the busiest and stressful job of the half year. Although the most dangerous period of the lungs has now escaped, and the body has been broken, the weakness is simply a waste. From 1920 until the beginning of 1931, for a whole decade - except for a few days in which I couldn't move in bed and fainted my mind - my brain never got a rest. During the period of responsibility, the nervousness of the nerves is naturally very powerful, often for ten days and eight days of continuous sleeplessness, in order to write a political paper or report. This is not a break for more than a decade. It may be the cause of my mental fatigue and very severe neurasthenia. However, I am still far from the aging period. The hard work of these ten years has indeed been counted, and it cannot be said that it is impossible, and I have become a wasteful person who has been crippled and disabled. How fragile I am, how can I help me!

Or, this is not the reason why the body is not strong, the so-called "congenital deficiency".

Although I was very poor when I was 13 or 4 years old, my family, the generation is the gentleman class of the so-called "clothing, food and tax", reading for generations, and being an official for generations. When I was five or six years old, my uncle, Geng Geng, was also appointed by the Hubei government. When he died, he was acting as governor of Hubei. Therefore, my family's field houses have been completely sold out decades ago, and when I was a child, I lived with my uncle's official residence for several years. The gentleman's decentness must be maintained. My mother would rather commit suicide and ask our brothers to continue reading. And when my mother committed suicide because of poverty, when the family often did not have rice for cooking, we also used a servant. We never washed our clothes and burned a meal.

Until then, in order to wear a gown, after the mother's death, there are still more than 40 yuan of tailoring debts, to use the residual wood to offset. My gentleman's consciousness - even if it is deeply lurking on the surface, it is not easy to detect it - in fact, it has never been taken off.

At the same time, I am twenty-one or two years old. Just as the so-called concept of life was formed, the rational aspect was quickly transferred from Marxism to the aristocratic anarchism. The outlook on life or the doctrine is a way of thinking - the so-called idea; since it has embarked on this path, it is not easy to change. What is Marxism? It is the proletariat's view of the universe and life. This is completely in a hostile position with my latent gentleman consciousness, Chinese-style scholar-official consciousness, and the petty-bourgeois or market-style consciousness that has later evolved. Among the fallen Chinese gentleman class consciousness, there are some such elements: for example, the kindness of swearing, the avoidance of struggle... and the parasitic hermit thought.

When I attend the political meeting, I will "think things about things", let go of my own "feelings" and infer a problem, decide a policy, etc. on the theory I know. However, I always feel that this work is "made for others." Every time I have a meeting or a fuss, I feel very troublesome. I am always in a hurry to end, so I can "go back to myself" to rest. I always dream: I am willing to be a faculty member in a small town, not for the development of education, but for a full meal. In the rest of the year, reading books, literature, novels, poems, songs, and the like that you love to read, isn't that very happy?

I have already discovered this kind of dualistic personality. I have completely understood it since last year. I have not been able to deceive myself. But after the "August 7" meeting, I did not say it publicly. I didn’t say it after the plenary session. I decided to make a decision last year, which caused me to delay and tolerate it. I even accidentally exposed a little bit of a tone to China, and often added some words. There is no such courage.

But the truth is always exposed. There is always a "one dollar" in the "dual" to achieve a practical victory. Because of my political fatigue, my inner ideological struggle can no longer continue. To be honest, after the Fourth Plenary Session, I have already become a full-fledged market leader – I try my best to avoid expressing opinions on political issues. What the central government said, I said, I thought that I was wrong, I immediately admitted the mistake, and I didn’t have any thoughts to argue. To say that I am opportunism is that opportunism is good, and all work can be done as long as it is explained. I really have no interest in paying attention to and studying the issues of politics and the party. Just because of the "literacy" of six years, there are sometimes some interesting things to think about in the modern literature and various interesting problems in the history of literature. However, most of them also enjoy the scores of appreciation, and the scores of research and analysis are less. And the weakness of physical strength does not allow me to think more.

The physical feeling is: as long as you use your brain for more than two or three hours a day, you feel very tired, or excessively deformed excitement - no excitement, so that you can not sleep, brain pain ... cold sweat.

Hey, fragile people! Does the so-called revolutionary team of the proletariat need this kind of thing?! I think, assuming that I have stored this extra life for a few times, I have another way of refusing to use my brain. The authoritative work of words, "with years of experience." However, in the end, it ended early.

Me and Marxism

When I started my social life, it was the period of China’s “new culture” movement that was very raging. In order to continue to study Russian and Russian literature in depth, I just can't go to the world's first "Marxist country." My thoughts at that time were very confusing: at the age of sixteen or seven, I began to read some books like Lao Zhuang, followed by the quotations of Song Ru, followed by the Buddhist scriptures, "The Mahayana Stars" - until Hu Shizhi "The Outline of Philosophy", Liang Shu's "Indian Philosophy", as well as some scientific theories and literary criticisms published at that time. Before I came to Russia, I have already read the works of Bebel, the Communist Manifesto and so on, and there are very few books of Marx. However, the understanding of Marxism is simply not possible.

Moreover, when I was very young, I didn’t know how to have a weird thought: Why should every scholar go to “governing the country”? Is it not good for individuals to find a kind of study or literature studies? So after I went to Russia Although they often read Lenin's works, essays, and speeches because of their duties, this is not a common knowledge of the Russian revolution and the international situation, and has not been studied seriously. All kinds of politicalism are all kinds of different veins and prescriptions for "ruling the country to the world."

I don't want to be a "master of the king" at all, and I don't want to be "Zhuge Liang" - these things naturally have others to do - I will not study. However, I am more interested in the ultimate ideal of socialism or communism.

I remember that at that time I understood that the Marxist communist society was also the most free society without class, government, and state. I was very comforted because it was not in conflict with my illusion of anarchism, peace and love of the world. The difference is the means. Marxism tells me that to achieve such an ultimate goal, objectively, the most acute class struggle can not be escaped, and the dictatorship of the proletariat, that is, a stage in which the proletariat rules the country. In order to eliminate the "state", we must first organize a new-style country for a period of time; in order to achieve the most thorough civil rights, we must first implement the civil rights of the proletariat. This is superficially “self-contradictory”, but the logic that is actually very reasonable—the so-called dialectic of Marxism—makes me very interesting. I have a general understanding of this problem, and I have put it aside and concentrated on studying Russian. At least for half a year, I have no time to manage what is not.

Later, Moscow Oriental University asked me to translate, and there was no way to play the spirit to see the books. Who knows that the more they work, the less they will continue to study literature, and soon they will take the lead.

However, the first time I was in Russia for two years, I really worked hard to study the common sense of Marxism for half a year. This is to read some books with the needs of the East University curriculum. I will translate the section of economics tomorrow, and look at it one night to be a preparation. The same is true of other historical materialist philosophy. This is by no means a systematic study. As for the second time, I went to Russia. At that time, in the presence of the representatives of the Communist Party, I met every day to solve problems. I was too busy to do systematic research.

The main part of Marxism: the philosophy of materialism. Historical materialism - the theory of class struggle, and economic politics, I have not systematically studied it. Capitalism - I have never read it at all, especially for economics. The common sense of my little Marxist theory is almost all from the sporadic papers in newspapers and magazines and Lenin's several booklets.

However, in China in 1923, people studying Marxism and even general sociology were still very few. Therefore, just after I became a professor at the Department of Sociology at Shanghai University, I gradually stole the fame of the so-called "Marxist theorist."

In fact, I really only know a little about these studies. At that time, I only translated a few foreign books and compiled some handouts. It now looks like something very naive and full of mistakes. There are many newcomers to the present, and many have systematically studied Marxist scholars – and the academic standards of international Marxism have improved a lot.

There is also a more important "misunderstanding", which is to use Marxism to study China's modern society, and partly to study the origin of Chinese history - and I have to start experimenting with it. In the middle of the five years after the May Fourth Movement, I remember that only Chen Duxiu, Dai Jitao, and Li Hanjun wrote several papers on this issue, but they were all irrelevant. After I returned to China, because I was already working in the party, although I only had a knowledgeable Marxist knowledge, I couldn’t start this attempt: analyze the development of China’s capitalist relationship, analyze the nature of Chinese social class differentiation, the class struggle situation, class The relationship between the struggle and the anti-imperialist national liberation movement and so on.

From 1923 to 1927, my work in this area, naturally, under the supervision of the comrades of the whole party, the reflection of the actual struggle, and the leadership of the international community, gradually made considerable progress. This is by no means the work of me alone. The more I attend, the less I participate. As far as my "scores" are concerned, now all Marxists can clearly see the theoretical mistakes I made at the time, how the Communist Party corrected my mistakes, and how much my theory contains. Mixed and petty bourgeois opportunism.

The development of these opportunistic elements has created a wrong political line, so that the Central Committee of the Communist Party of China cannot evict the members of the Politburo. Indeed, by 1930, although I had participated in political work for two years in the international arena, I got quite some new knowledge and some political exercises. However, instead of not improving, I felt that I had to regress. China’s class struggle has already entered a higher stage. For China’s social relations and political situation, it requires a deeper and more complicated analysis and a clearer judgment. My knowledge is definitely not enough, and the non-proletarian anti-Boolean Sevek’s consciousness was completely exposed.

At that time, I gradually felt that many problems were not only unreasonable, but even did not want to move. After the new leader has played some issues, I will feel relaxed and feel that this solution is the most appropriate. I didn’t know why I was at the beginning; but – sometimes I don’t understand.

Since then, I have reluctantly thought about the need for all the big problems of "ruling the country to the world", and there is no more! I will not "independently think" during the period of 12-point fatigue and recurrence of vomiting. At the beginning of 1931, I began my political and political and ideological negative period until now. Since then, I have not had my own thoughts. This is not to say that I am a good model party member and have a complete and profound understanding of the central theory and policy. On the contrary, I am the worst party member, and it has long been worth expelling because I have not thought about the central theory and policy. Occasionally, I also have doubts about the central policy, but I immediately stop skeptical - because doubt is also a kind of thinking; since I don't think about it - naturally there is no doubt.

My knowledge of Marxist knowledge has played some role at the time - good and bad influences are things that people know well, I don't have to judge by myself - and now, I am already politically dead, no Then there is a Marxist propagandist.

At the same time, it is also true that I have given up Marxism. If you want to talk to me about all kinds of political issues, I have nothing to do but to infer from my incomprehensible Marxist method. In fact, I am afraid that these inferences contain many opportunism, that is, the anti-Marxist-Leninist view, which is "not known."

Therefore, I don’t have to rush to think about it: my thoughts have gone to the initial stage of Marxism in my youth, and I can’t change it. At the same time, this idea is intertwined with non-Marxist roads, and then free to walk freely. I don't know where I will go. - And the most important thing is that I didn't have the courage to run again. I didn't have the energy to think about politics in the social sciences.

Blindness and Lisan

When I had to bear the political leadership of the Communist Party of China, it was the Chinese revolution that entered the era of the greatest transformation and shock, which was after the end of the Wuhan era. It is a very difficult task to analyze new situations and determine new policies in the period of the most complicated and violent route of the Chinese national liberation movement and class struggle. At that time, many comrades and me had made political mistakes more or less. At the same time, many former comrades left the revolutionary ranks consciously or unconsciously at this further level of class struggle. In the beginning, the policies we decided under the leadership of the party were generally incorrect. After the split of Wuhan, we decided to attack the Nanchang riots in Heye and the Guangdong riots in the two lakes. In November, we decided to riot in Guangzhou. These riots are not blindly intrinsic because they have a considerable public base. Of course, China’s general revolutionary situation has begun to decline since the British, American and Japanese imperialists bombarded Nanjing’s threat to the Kuomintang’s anti-communism in late March 1927; however, the struggle and division in the ensuing Wuhan government until Guangzhou The riots cite the Soviet flag, which is still a legitimate attempt to recover the situation in the revolutionary forces. As a result, it failed. That is to say, if the revolutionary situation cannot be re-transformed to a high lineup, it must be renewed. And I, of course, I should bear the main responsibility during this period. After the failure of the Guangzhou riots in early 1928, the revolutionary situation still existed and it continued to rise. This is the line of blindness.

The original blind movement phenomenon, we and the then central government have expressed opposition since October 1927; for some party departments do not try to lead and fight for the people, but instead desperate, or just to assassinate the action of luxury We always correct it. However, because the entire route was wrong at the time, no matter how subjectively understood the phenomenon of blindness is not good, it is laborious to correct the branches, but objectively leads the development of blindness.

The Sixth Congress of the Communist Party of China corrected this mistake and put the policy on the right path. Naturally, after the Wuhan era, we have the most important lesson in the Chinese revolution: for example, the revolution has a province or a few provinces, the possibility and future of victory, the anti-imperialist revolution is most closely related to the agrarian revolution, etc. It was adopted by the "six majors." The policy of the Soviet revolution was more clearly defined in the "six majors."

But in my own opinion, at that time, my views not only overestimated the development of the revolutionary situation, but also contributed to the mistake of blindness. For the analysis of the Chinese peasant class, it is believed that the rich peasants are still within the revolutionary front, and they believe that the violent victory in some big cities in the near future may have been lurking or expressed. However, the comrades did not notice the mistakes of these views and have not pointed them out. Of course I don't even know that these are wrong. It was not until the fall of 1929 that when I discussed the issue of peasants, I began to expose my mistakes on the peasant issue. Unfortunately, there was no deeper and more ruthless disclosure at the time...

Since then, the issue of the Lisan route has come.

At the end of 1929, when I was still in Moscow, I heard that there were many inappropriate places in Li San and Zhong Fa’s policies. At the same time, there was a very intense struggle among the students of the Moscow China Labor University. I have never known the people. I just want to ease these struggles. I feel that many of my comrades who attack and criticize each other are good. Listening to what they say is often very surprising. It seems that they all deliberately exaggerate the facts and regard them as "downsizing" each other. reason. Therefore, I am standing in a reconciled position. This makes the party department there think that I happen to be opportunists and asylum seekers of dissidents. As a result, my position as the representative of the Chinese Communist Party in Moscow was restored and I was ready to return. Naturally, in the task of returning to China, the most important thing is to correct the mistakes of Li San and eliminate the influence of the ideology of Chinese comrades in Moscow on domestic comrades.

However, in fact, I did nothing. At the time of Li San's mistake - in the summer of 1930 - he had formed his own half-Trotsky route, and the concept of faction also made the party suppress the new cadres who returned to Moscow. And the Third Plenary Session that I came back to, as well as all the central government's disposal, just corrected some obvious mistakes of Li San. Neither pointed out the mistakes of Li San’s route, nor did he ensure the implementation of the international route in terms of organization and all plans and practical work. In fact, I did not recognize the fundamental difference between the Lisan route and the international route.

To be honest, the Li San route is one of my many misconceptions - some say it is Qiuqiu Baiism - the development of logic. Li San’s wrong policy can be said to be a kind of defeatism. On the surface, he believes that the victory of the revolution in China has arrived. This will promote the success of the whole world. In fact, he feels that he has not grasped and developed the victory of the Soviet revolution in several counties. The revolutionary future is not immediately developed into a large city. Victory and even the victory of the whole world is a rapid demise, so it is desperate to desperately fight. This is to use the left-handed talk to cover up the essence of right opportunism. Therefore, in terms of organization, in fact, in the theory of the agrarian revolution, on the policy of the trade union movement, on the various issues of youth sports and youth organizations, etc. I couldn't tell at the time. Afterwards, I said that after the "six majors", it is not Li San, but me, who stayed in China directly. Then, in fact, I will go to such a wrong route, but it will not be as reckless as Li San. It can be said that there will be no courage like Li San. Of course, I indirectly bear the responsibility of establishing the three routes.

After the Fourth Plenary Session, he decided to expel Li San’s Central Committee and expel my Politburo member. I, as already said above, are thanking for this expulsion, which has removed me from the average. My second return to China was in mid-August 1930. By January 7th, 1931, I left the central political leadership. This period is only less than half a year. However, this half-year period is almost longer than me for 50 years! The energy of the people has been completely exhausted. I have taken a long vacation to rest my illness - in fact, I have left the political arena.

I want to go back and do something else, such as the translation of literature and art, I feel that it is too late. From 1920 to 1930, I left my own home for a whole decade - the study of Russian literature that I am willing to do. It is not only idyllic but also my own. The strength has also declined. Naturally, it is possible to do the work, "to spend the rest of the year." But then it was a serious illness, and it took three years to spend time. In January 1934, in order to prevent illness in Shanghai, he went to Ruijin – it was February 5th when Ruijin was in office – and served as a leisure member of the People’s Committee. However, since part of the work is carried out in the Central Committee of the Soviets, although it is not necessary to attend the party's central meeting, it is not necessary to participate in the initial discussion and decision of all policies. However, it is impossible to do so without asking politics at all. I was in the midst of being perfunctory, tired of politics, but having to ask a little about politics, after a year.

In the last four years, I seem to remember that I have made several mistakes in political issues. But now I can't even remember the content, probably my old opportunism. I don't want to have any political views different from the central government. I always "give up" these wrong opinions at once. In fact, I didn't even think about it, but I felt that it was too much trouble to argue. Since it doesn't matter, let's forget.

My political life is already over.

In the last four years, I can still say that I continue to struggle for Marxism, fight for the Soviets, and fight for the correct line of the party. I have done some routines and said that "Struggle" is too complimenting. The blindness of the past few years and the responsibility of the Lisan route should never be alleviated; on the contrary, from the perspective of the Communist Party, this responsibility is even more aggravated. The facts of history can't be erased, I am willing to be the fairest referee in history!

"literati"

"One is a literati, there is no such thing." - This is what a Sinologist in the Qing Dynasty said. Indeed, the so-called "literati" is a useless figure. This is not a modernist writer, writer, or literary critic. This is a "celebrity" of the wind and the moon, or ... a simpler, higher-class traveller who reads books. He knows everything, but there is no real knowledge. Because he has a little common sense of various scholarships above contemporary academic standards, he thinks he is a scholar. However, he has no systematic research and real experience in any kind of learning, so he will not contribute to academics, nor will he have any achievements in literature and art.

Naturally, literati also have a variety of different models, but most of them are actually high-level tourists. If you are a doctor, an engineer, a chemical technician... a real writer, you will feel the value of everyday life, and you can create or fix something, as long as you like. Even if you are a true politician, you can make mistakes. You can stick to your mistakes, but you will also seriously struggle and practice for your own opinions. Only the literati has no hope, and he often does not even know what he is doing!

The "literati" is the remnant of the Chinese medieval and "heritage" - a very bad legacy. I believe that there will be no such intellectuals in another ten or eight years.

Unfortunately, I cannot deny that I am one of the "literati."

Of course, I have seen some old books, thirteen classics, twenty-four history, children's books, notes, books, poems, etc., but I just found it and suddenly I remembered it. There is no research. Some scientific papers, Marxist non-Marxist, I have seen some, though rare. Therefore, these new and old books are not so much a source of knowledge as me, but a tool for leisure. In which kind of study, I have a little real knowledge? I can't answer it myself.

Ridiculously, I have been the leader of the Communist Party called "killing and setting fire". However, I am indeed the most awkward "mother-in-law" scholar. I can't kill a mouse. I don't dare.

However, the real embarrassment is not here. The first is that there is almost no confidence at all. Every insight is shaken and unstable. I always hope to have a reliance. I remember when Bukharin first talked to me, I said such a whisper: "How do you feel like the three-story upstairs, always so polite, talking, not 'or', or 'maybe', 'It's hard to say'...etc." In fact, this is true. It is a pity that people often regard my confession as "polite" or "deaf".

I have never had the courage to fight for my own opinions. At the same time, I have not acknowledged my courage of wrongness for a long time. When a comment is published, look at the lack of strong sponsorship and immediately suspect it; but if there is no other opinion to replace it, then it will only follow this opinion that you doubt. I saw a not good phenomenon, or an incorrect opinion, but no one came out to blame. Even the temperamental people thought it was a good thing, and I never had the courage to say my doubts. Indecisive, drifting with the tide, is the inevitable character of this "literati".

Although people have seen me participate in several big debates, sometimes it seems to be very intense. In fact, I am very afraid of arguments. I have always felt that the other party’s words are “right” and “there are some reasons”. “It’s certainly right to stand on the other’s point of view”. I seem to understand the way of Confucius's loyalty. So I did the leader of the "reconciliation" after all. If I have a heated debate, then I don’t think that “since I’m standing in the ranks of Bolsevik, I shouldn’t reconcile myself”, so I’m reluctant to be myself, that is, I’m not leaving the “decent” to immediately admit the wrong courage, or the other’s words too. I was naive, and made me "the arrow had to be sent on the string."

In fact, the most ideal world is that everyone should not argue, "harmony and life."

I have many specimens of the "morality of the weak" - patience, avoiding enthusiasm, hoping that everyone is quiet, kind and so on. Although from the time of my youth, I hate corruption, despicableness...and all the filthy social phenomena, but I never wanted to be a knight. I only want to do not do those sins myself. It is possible to persuade them not to do that; it is impossible, let them go, they also have their own hardships!

My fundamental character, I think, is not only not enough to train as a Bolshevik warrior, not even a minimum revolutionary. Just for "decent", so since I got involved in this team, I have no courage to know myself, and ask them to wash me out.

But I think, if you ask me to be a "play" - the actors on the stage, there will be some achievements, because I have always felt that I have been playing a certain role for more than ten years. Dressed as a university professor and dressed as a politician, he will truly forget himself and become a "player." Although, this is very painful for me, I have to look forward to the meeting every day, I hope that my friends who talk to me will go away, let me unload the costumes, and I will be in my face - lying in bed, very tired to read: "Back" Home's go, go back to 'home'!" This is indeed very bitter--but on the stage, it's always pretty good, it's like a slap in the face.

Why? Because the youth is more energetic, there will always be a little game and work. Instant is not your own business. When you do him well, you also feel happy for a while. For example, if you are a little smart, you will put a few "seven puzzles" or "puzzle maps". You must feel happy at the time. Just like in the middle school, you figured out several algebra problems, although you are not prepared. Be a mathematician.

However, playing the role on the stage is not "his own life", energy is consumed here, or even completely exhausted, always regretting things that are too late. When the energy is declining, it is really tired of the political stage.

The knowledge of the books in a complicated and disorderly manner and the political life that is cumbersome and contrary to my own interests make me numb and feel the boring life.

Originally, scholars did not have a cordial understanding of all the phenomena in the universe, and often turned themselves into the embodiment of a large number of abstract nouns. Everything has a "noun", but there is no real feeling. For example, the life, exploitation, struggle spirit, agrarian revolution, political power, etc. of the workers have been until the spring and autumn, the shackles, the snakes, all kinds of nouns, concepts, words, and so on. It is said that you will wait until you ask Whatever it is, you will feel blurred.

For the real life, it always looks like a flower in the fog, separated by a film.

The "literati" and the scholars generally do not have any specific knowledge. He knows everything, but everything is a layman. Ask him to talk about some "national events", he may be in a less complicated and specific time. However, ask him to repair a car, or with a prescription, to run a cooperative, buy a batch of goods, or clean up a book, or else, ask him to run a school... In short, no matter which one is specific He will feel unsure about the real things.

For example, in the past year, I have asked for the education of the Soviets. Of course, the so-called "Central Soviet Area" in the areas of Ruijin, Ningdu and Xingguo was originally a place with backward culture, such as a blank piece of paper. When the education was just started, it was only a small school of compulsory schools and several normal schools. . However, I have to think about it carefully. For these special schools and normal schools, the special problems of small and medium-sized education and children’s education, especially the special problems of the education of workers and peasants in the civil war, there is really no knowledge, even general knowledge. not enough!

In recent years, I feel that all these things are very willing to "go back and live again."

The feeling of the diaphragm in the fog makes people feel abnormally depressed, lonely and lonely. I want to try the taste of real life carefully and lovingly. For example, the land revolution of the "Central Soviet Area" has been three or four years. What are the specific changes in the private daily life of the peasants? How do they feel? I have visited one or two times. There is no "common language" in one opening, and I am too lazy, so I finally have nothing to gain.

However, naturally, I learned to examine the characters in a more subtle way and understand all the "phenomena". I have re-read some literary classics in China and Western Europe in recent years and feel some new impressions. From these works, you can understand life and society quite well, and understand different personalities, rather than general "good guys", "bad guys", or "bureaucrats", "civilians", "workers", "rich peasants". and many more. In front of you is a person with flesh and blood and personality, although these people are in a certain production relationship, a certain class.

I think this may be the beginning of the "literati" to truly understand the art.

Is it too late? It is too late!

In vain holding the hobby and nostalgia for literature and art, at first it was his own mind, and his body was occupied by "foreign objects." Later, it was very tired and covered me for three or four years. I have never been serious about using literature and art. The book is a bit of a mess; I believe that perhaps you have entered the realm above the level of modern art and literature, and will not be able to discern the level of interest. Some of the literary and artistic opinions that I have published have been very mixed, and they are also ignorant.

Time passed quickly. Everything is ridiculous. A low eye is an inevitable result. What I write myself - something similar to literature and art can't satisfy myself. I am at best a "reader."

Speaking of my only specific knowledge, there is only Russian. If you can carefully and solemnly translate a few Russian literary classics, you may not be "missing children" in terms of Chinese characters. This one of the most enjoyable dreams is much more practical than the creation and commentary. Unfortunately, I am afraid this may be "outdated" now!

bid farewell

A comic show ended here!

There is a saying in my hometown called "Catch the old crow to make a nest on the tree." This nest is always impossible. A "literate" who is even in a boring and boring manner, wants him to assume the position of "political leader" for several years. This is ridiculous, but it is a fact. During this period, all good things were not due to his merits—it was due to the actual work of several responsible comrades at that time. His empty talk was nothing but a superficial embellishment, and even ambushed the later scourge. This historical sin is now in the final settlement.

You go to account, you are brave and daring in the struggle, I can envy you, congratulations, but can not follow you. I don't think it's a pity. Similarly, I don't feel regret, even though I have spent a lot of time on politics that I don't like. The past is over, and repentance has increased the troubles of the present. The team should be cleaned out, and it should be cleaned up after all, and the sooner the better, the less it is a pity.

I have already withdrawn from the revolutionary vanguard of the proletariat, have stopped political struggles, and laid down weapons. If you, the comrades of the Communist Party, can hear everything I wrote here, I think I should have expelled my party. A fragile character like me, a perfunctory, clear-cut, and lazy person, is especially important to admit that he is wrong and cannot change his class consciousness and emotions. Moreover, because of "historical accidents," this is not a Ordinary party members, but once used to be political commissars - how can such a person not be expelled?

Now that I am already a captive of the Kuomintang, it seems redundant to talk about it. But isn't it the same? I am free and not free, and I can't continue to struggle. Although I am only going to end my life now, I have already ended my political life. Strictly speaking, no matter how free or free I am, you have long had the right to think that I am also a traitor. If unfortunate and I have no chance to tell you that my most frank and true attitude has suddenly died, then you may still treat me as a communist martyr. I remember when I was dying in 1932, some places opened a memorial service for me, and of course I also remembered my "benefit." I heard this message in the Soviet area. I am really cold and embarrassed. I pretend to be a martyr with a traitor. It is too much. Therefore, although I am now in prison, although I am now very easy to pretend to be impassioned to die, but I dare not do so. History cannot and should not be deceived. I don't care if I lie to me alone. It is not a big deal for the revolutionary comrades to mistake the traitors as martyrs. So even if it is a death, it is also the end of my life, and I will never die as a martyr.

Farewell, dear comrades! - This is the last time I called you "comrades." I am not worthy of calling you "comrades" anymore. Tell you: I have actually left your team for a long time.

Oh! The misunderstanding of history has caused me to be a "literati" who has been reluctant to mix in the political arena of revolution for many years. My departure from the team is not simply because I want to end my revolution, to end this burlesque, not simply because of my ills and weakness, but because I can’t overcome my gentleman’s consciousness, I can’t Become a warrior of the proletariat.

Farewell, dear friends! For seven or eight years, I have already felt extremely tired. This feeling of fatigue, sometimes, for example, in the early 1930s or in August and September 1934, was so powerful that it was unspeakable and unbearable. I felt that no matter whether the destruction of the whole universe is not destroyed, whether it is revolution or counter-revolution, etc., I just have to rest, rest, rest!! Well, now there is a chance of "permanent rest."

I leave these pages to you - my last and most frank truth. Farewell! The judgement of everything, of course, is you, not me. I just have to rest.

There are no friends in my life, and there are very few dear ones. And apart from opening my own, I am not completely confessed to you. It is just for China, I have only revealed a bit of a tone. I always wear a fake mask. I have already said that it is the most happy thing to expose the mask. Not only is it easy to expose others, but it is also very happy to be exposed, especially if you can expose it. Now I lost the last layer of masks. You should congratulate me. I went to rest, went to rest forever, and you should congratulate me more.

I often say that I feel that I have no sleep-like fatigue for ten or twenty years, and now I can get a permanent "great" cute sleep.

From my life, I may get a lesson: to hone yourself, you must have great perseverance to overcome all kinds of "dissident" consciousness and even the most subtle "dissident" emotions, and then from the "exotic" class. It jumped out completely and stood firm in the revolutionary ranks of the proletariat. Otherwise, it is inevitably "caught the old crow to make a nest on the tree", which is a burlesque.

My burlesque is about to close.

What do I miss? My dearest person, I used to live with her for ten years. Yes, I can't live without it. Not only in political life, I have never been a pioneer in all struggles, and I always have to find some kind of snuggle every time. Not only that, but in private life, I have no courage to "survive competition", I will not organize my own life, I will not do very simple and trivial things. I have been relying on me to be very uncomfortable, because I have been sorry for my loved ones many times, especially my spiritual embarrassment, so that I have not completely confessed to her, I hope she will hate me and forget me. Make my heart safe.

What am I still missing? The thriving children of this beautiful world, "my" daughter, and all the happy children.

I bless them.

This world is still very beautiful for me. Everything new, struggling, and brave is moving forward. So good flowers, fruits, so beautiful mountains and water, so majestic factories and chimneys, the light of the moon seems to be brighter than before.

But, farewell, beautiful world!

The energy of a lifetime has been exhausted, leaving a body.

If I still have the possibility to control my body, I would like to give it to the anatomy room of the medical school. I heard that the laboratory of Chinese medical schools and hospitals lacks such experimental equipment. And I am a tuberculosis person for many years, when it is good or bad, I have also taken photos of X-rays several times. In the spring of 1933, I saw many scars in my lungs, but the doctor could not tell the exact judgment. Suppose you take a picture first, then dissect the body and study the lungs in the photo. You must be able to see something. This may be helpful in the diagnosis of tuberculosis. Although I am completely amateur to medicine, this may be ridiculous.

In short, the burlesque is always completely over. The cave is empty on the stage. What is the nostalgia is also awesome. Fortunately, I got a "great" break. As for the body, maybe I can't be the master of myself.

Say goodbye to everything in this world!

At last……

Russian Gorky's "Forty Years", "Crimor Samokin's Life", Turgenev's "Rotten", Tolstoy's "Anna Karinina", Lu Xun's "A Q" The True Story, Mao Dun’s "Shake", Cao Xueqin's "Dream of Red Mansions" can be read again.

Chinese tofu is also a very good thing, the world's first.

farewell!